


I Caught Myself

by findusinaweek



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, Anxiety, Blood and Violence, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Homophobia, Hospitalization, Human/Vampire Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Marijuana, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Supernatural Elements, Twilight Renaissance, Vampire Patrick Brewer, references to death but no major characters die!!!!, the drug use isn't more than they do on the show but i figured i would tag it just in case!!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:41:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28907259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/findusinaweek/pseuds/findusinaweek
Summary: When the Rose family loses it all because of a greedy business partner, they end up in a secluded community surrounded by forest.David becomes enamored with a mysterious stranger who has amber eyes and pale, ice cold skin.aka the Twilight/Midnight Sun AU no one asked for ❤️
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, Johnny Rose/Moira Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose, Theodore "Ted" Mullens/Alexis Rose
Comments: 43
Kudos: 37





	1. How Did We Get Here?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks! 
> 
> When I was a teen, I used to watch Twilight whenever I was sad. This year has been garbage and I am an adult, but you know what they say about old habits.
> 
> Some disclaimers:  
> -I know that a lot of the plot points and themes in Twilight are pretty problematic and for a lot of people those books were Baby's First Propaganda. I won't be including those things in this. I also feel that this fic is an act of rebellion because something tells me the author of Twilight wouldn't be pleased with a queer reimagining of her book lol  
> -There are a lot of plot holes in the Twilight series and I'm trying to work around those and put my own spin on things, but if you notice any small ones shhhh no you didn't  
> -Werewolf imprinting will not be a thing in this because I think it's creepy  
> -In this universe the "vegetarian" vampires are relatively civil with the werewolves  
> -There will be a scene with homophobia in it and I will put a warning when that comes up. Also just wanted to put a warning for general vampire stuff. There will also be violence and many mentions of blood and death.  
> -I felt like the Schitt's Creek the way it was portrayed in the show wouldn't be good for vampires, so this is set in Washington state like Twilight  
> -You don't need to have seen or read Twilight to enjoy this.  
> -I promise our Sweet Pat will not be as creepy as Edward ❤️  
> -I obviously do not own Schitt's Creek or Twilight but I do own all of the grammatical errors in this ❤️  
> Fic title is from Paramore's "I Caught Myself" from the Twilight soundtrack. Chapter title is from Paramore's "Decode" also from the Twilight soundtrack.
> 
> Enjoy!

Green and wet.

Those were the simplest, yet most accurate descriptors David Rose could use to describe Schitt’s Creek.

It was too woodsy. Too _green._

What a strange new world he was in.

His family was forced to move to a secluded town in Washington state after their homes and fortune were seized by the IRS. Good thing Johnny Rose thought it would be funny to buy his son a town as a gag gift a few decades ago. Otherwise, they would be on the streets, instead of sharing two rooms in a rundown motel.

David tried not to think about when the last time this room was cleaned. Other than a brown apple core found on the dresser, the room looked like it had been sealed off, unused for decades.

On a positive note, the sound of the motel roof being pelted by raindrops nearly drowned out the sound of his mother sobbing in the room attached the room he shared with Alexis. Nearly, but not quite.

After investigating the towel situation in his shared space, David sighed deeply and decided to venture to the motel’s office. He noticed the windows on the office door, as well as the windows of all of the cars and buildings he saw in town, were deeply tinted. It struck David as odd. What’s the point of having windows if you are going to tint them to the point that they are almost opaque? How was it safe to drive with windows tinted that deeply? What were the citizens of Schitt’s Creek trying to hide?

The door creaked as David entered the office. He was struck with the smell of moth balls and something else he couldn’t quite place.

Of course the Motel Girl wouldn’t be there to come to his aid during his towel crisis. He rung the bell on the desk somewhat combatively. To his horror, the bell didn’t make a sound. 

“Yeah, that’s been broken for years,” Motel Girl said as she came from the back room. “Can I help you?”

“Yes,” David gasped. “I need a new towel. Immediately.”

He looked at her name tag with the name “Stevie” written across it in capital letters. David tried to commit that name to memory, but he also hoped he wouldn’t need to remember the names of anyone in this wasteland. He aggressively hoped his family would be out of this dump any minute now or he would wake in a stranger’s bed and realize this was all just a vivid nightmare.

Stevie rolled her eyes and returned to the storage room behind the desk. She wordlessly handed David a towel.

“Okay, but like do you have anything nicer than this? Preferably, something one hundred percent cotton instead of whatever blended situation this is,” David said, eyeing the towel with disgust. 

“Sorry, all of our Egyptian cotton towels are being used by our premium guests. I could put you on a waiting list though,” Stevie said, her gruff voice dripping with sarcasm.

David huffed and turned to leave the office. The door creaked in protest as David yanked it open. He took a deep breath and as his lungs filled with fresh air, he realized how weird that interaction was. Something about Stevie’s presence made him mildly uncomfortable, but he couldn’t quite place it.

As David made his way back to his shared motel room, he audibly gasped when he realized what the other smell was.

“Wet dog” he whispered to himself, finally placing the secondary scent of the office. “She smelled like a wet dog.”

David entered the motel room to find his sister sprawled out on her bed, scrolling aimlessly through Twitter.

“Kids?” Johnny called from the attached room. “It’s getting late. We should head to the diner for dinner.”

Alexis groaned dramatically in response, but was already getting up to put on her shoes.

David gingerly placed the towel on the bathroom sink before meeting his family outside of the door.

The rain had slowed to a light drizzle as the family made their way down Main Street. His mother, huddled under an umbrella, was uncharacteristically silent.

The family passed by a row of houses. As they walked, David eyed the home of the weird mayor who drove them into town. He couldn’t help but smirk a little as he read the sign in front of their home saying “The Schitt Family Welcomes You.” Schitt sounded about right. 

He noticed an ugly, old pickup truck with rusting orange paint in front of the house. David looked at the for sale sign on the windshield with revulsion. _Good luck selling that piece of shit._

The Roses finally made it to Cafe Tropical. David wondered how many health department codes this place violated.

As the family entered the restaurant, every patron and employee stopped and stared. David knew this was a small town in the middle of nowhere. He expected to be treated like outsiders because they didn’t belong here. But the reaction the townspeople had to newcomers seemed quite extreme.

The most jarring reaction comes from a waitress. She stared at the family with jet black, soulless eyes. A ring of bruising surrounded her dark eyes.

“Can I help you?” The waitress asked tersely without blinking.

“Yes, my family and I would like to sit and get a bite to eat,” Johnny responded.

The waitress snarled in response.

“TWYLA, STOP!” Shouted a curvy woman with short hair and large, topaz eyes. She jumped up and rushed to the waitress, grabbed her arms and pulled her away. The waitress, Twyla apparently, just let the other woman lead her to the back of the restaurant. The pair disappeared into the kitchen.

David shot a look towards Alexis, eager to see her reaction. Alexis was staring at something on her phone, completely oblivious to the scene unfolding in front of her.

The woman who dragged Twyla away emerged from the kitchen a moment later.

“Hi, I’m Ronnie. You must be the Roses,” She said as she gathered an armful of menus. Ronnie handed the menus to Johnny and gestured towards an empty booth. “We don’t get a lot of out of towners here,” she added somewhat sheepishly.

The family hesitantly sat in the offered booth. Moira and Alexis were still unconcerned with Twyla’s unusual behavior as they studied their comically large menus. 

“So sorry about that!” Twyla said, as she approached the table moments later.

David just stared at her with his eyebrows furrowed. He pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his hands to feel more secure. Suddenly, he inexplicably felt extremely calm. _What had just happened?_

“Oh! My eventide pharmaceuticals must be taking effect!” Moira crooned excitedly.

David wondered if somehow she had slipped him something. Why did he suddenly feel so at ease?

The rest of the meal went by without much incident, but David couldn’t stop thinking about how everyone in the cafe stared when they entered the restaurant.

After the Roses finished their moderately edible food, they trekked back to the motel. It was raining harder, so the family rushed to their new, _hopefully temporary_ home.

David and Alexis got into a squabble over who should get to use the bathroom first. According to David, it should be him because he ended up with the less desirable bed.

Alexis tossed her head back and groaned dramatically. 

David saw his chance and rushed into the small bathroom. He took a lengthy shower even though the motel had shitty water pressure. David dried off and put his pajamas on. He took his time working his way through his skincare routine. The longer he took to complete the nine step process, the longer it would be until he had to think about the reality of his situation.

After emerging from the bathroom, David made his way over to his bed. He felt sick to his stomach thinking about how he would have to touch the linens, let alone sleep in them. The man took a deep breath and mustered as much bravery as he could before removing the comforter and putting it at the foot of his bed. He took a t-shirt and put it on top of the pillow and eventually burrowed between the fitted and flat sheets.

David held in his urge to scream in anguish when he laid down and the sheets smelled like cigarettes. He looked at his phone absently, but his mind kept drifting to the bizarre locals in the cafe.

When Alexis came out of the bathroom, David was dying to recap this evening’s events.

“I don’t know, David. She was probably just like on something.” Alexis said, carelessly. “One time, I was at a warehouse party with members of a Russian street gang. I was on so many things I just stared and snarled at people too, Day-vid.”

Alexis signified the conversation was over by putting her earbuds in. 

David laid in the darkness and let the pitter patter of rain lull him to sleep. The man dreamt he was in the forest, surrounded by evergreen trees and no escape.

David slept fitfully before he awoke _way too early_ with a start. He heard distinct howling in the distance. 

“Alexis?!” David said in a panicked whisper.

He got no response.

“Alexis,” He repeated in a louder voice.

“What?” She said as she sleepily removed an earbud.

“Did you hear that noise?” David asked before continuing. “That noise from outside? It was definitely some sort of animal.”

“Ew, David.” Alexis sighed. “You woke me up for that? Its probably just like a deer or something. Go back to sleep.”

David didn’t know much about the wildlife in Schitt’s Creek, but he knew there was no way in hell the sound he heard was a deer.

The Roses struggled to adjust to life in Schitt’s Creek. It seemed like half of the residents in Schitt’s Creek seemed to quickly adapt and welcome the Roses, while the rest still gaped when a Rose entered the room.

The next time the family ate at Cafe Tropical, David noticed something. Twyla’s face looked different. Gone were the dark circles and black irises. Instead, she had pale skin and brilliant topaz eyes. She approached the Roses with a smile and only breathed out of her mouth.

The situation still made David curious, but maybe Alexis was right. Maybe Twyla was just on something.

At the end of their first week in town, Johnny tasked his adult children with finding jobs. Alexis managed to materialize a job out of thin air working at the town’s clinic. David, on the other hand, was a little bit stuck. He didn’t even know where to begin with his job hunt. Schitt’s Creek didn’t have an art galleries, and he didn’t have a car or any way to get to art galleries in other towns.

Without much thought, David wandered to the motel office. He and Stevie had formed somewhat of a playful acquaintanceship. Together, they poured through the newspaper classifieds searching for a job for David. 

Two listings stuck out to Stevie. A position washing dishes at the cafe. She pointed out that it was walkable and he pretty much spent a large amount of time there anyway. David immediately dismissed that option. Washing dishes seemed _incorrect_ and something about the cafe still slightly unsettled him.

The second listing was for a part-time sales associate at Schitt’s Creek General Store. It was also walkable and seemed slightly more dignified. Stevie also knew the owner and said he was sarcastic and had good sense of humor.

David decided to check out the general store in hopes he would return to the motel before it started raining.

It took less than ten minutes to walk to the store. The location directly across the street from the cafe was also convenient for potential lunch breaks.

David entered the store and looked around. It was nice, but it needed work. The color scheme was incorrect. The walls were an angry dark blue. If David had designed the place, he would have picked a simple sand and stone color palette. With a different interior color scheme, customers’ eyes would be drawn to the products instead of the dark walls.

“Incorrect,” David said under his breath as he eyed a distasteful display of toilet brushes and plungers right near the door. Was this guy _trying_ to run his business into the ground?

“Excuse me?” A voice responded from the back of the store.

A pale compact man with light brown hair wearing a dark blue button down materialized in front of David. David was immediately drawn to the man’s onyx eyes that were staring intently at him. He wasn’t going to lie this man was very attractive, but the stranger’s gaze made David feel flustered and exposed.

“Um. I just think it’s incorrect to have the toilet plungers and brushes at the front of the store like this. It is the first thing a customer sees and it’s kind of gross. I also think the soap should be organized differently” David explained. 

The shop owner just continued to stare at David in confusion.

“I’m David. David Rose.” He said reaching out a hand to shake.

“Patrick,” the shop owner said, glaring at David’s outstretched hand. 

Patrick swiftly turned and walked towards the counter. “Is there anything I can help you with or are you just here to criticize my store displays?” He said nonchalantly.

“Actually, yes,” David started. “I saw an ad in the paper that you were looking for a part-time sales ass—“

“No.” Patrick interrupted from behind the counter. “I can’t hire you.”

David strutted over towards the counter confidently. He felt defensive towards this stranger’s attitude. _Why was he so quick to dismiss David?_

On his way to the counter, David passed a fan that was powered on and oscillating. Patrick hand flew up and covered his nose and mouth. David’s eyebrows rose into his hairline. Was David being denied a part-time job because this small town store owner thought he smelled bad? He wore designer cologne and had terrific taste. What was this guy’s _problem?_

Patrick quickly recovered and removed his hand from his face. He stopped breathing all together and gripped the top of the counter.

“I’m actually not hiring,” Patrick said through gritted teeth. “If you’re not going to buy anything, I need you to leave.”

David stared at Patrick’s white knuckles before turning and leaving.

“What the fuck?” David said after he exited the store.

Once he was out of view of the store, David turned his nose towards his right armpit and took a large inhale. He smelled _fine!_

What the fuck was wrong with that store owner?


	2. Some Kind of Magic, Hypnotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick confronts his feelings towards the mysterious David Rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> Thank you so much for your interest and support!
> 
> I was planning on uploading this sooner, but then I read it and didn't like it lol. Some changes were made lol.
> 
> Chapter title is from Paramore's "I Caught Myself" because I am a Paramore fan first and human second.
> 
> Some content warnings: talk of blood, broken bones and murder. nothing is too graphic in this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

When Patrick’s immortal life began, he discovered he had an unusual gift. Besides the usual vampire stuff; super strength, speed, improved vision and hearing. Patrick had the ability to listen to the minds of anyone who crossed his path.

In his early vampire years, he used this special skill to hunt. Patrick had a strong moral compass and would only feed on murderers and perpetrators of other unspeakable crimes. This worked for a while. But at the end of the day, Patrick still felt like a monster. The vampire became haunted by the final thoughts of his victims and couldn’t do it anymore.

Decades before moving to Schitt’s Creek, Patrick began only hunting animals. It was a difficult transition at first, but ultimately it was worth it not to feel shame all of the time.

After leaving his companion, Rachel, Patrick wandered on his own for a while. He eventually settled in Schitt’s Creek after he discovered the town’s vampire population also only had animal based diets.

Conflicts arose between the vampires and the town’s werewolf community in the early 1980s. The natural born enemies decided to compromise and created a peace treaty. As long as the vampires didn’t harm or turn a human, they could stay in Schitt’s Creek. The treaty also forbid the supernatural creatures from telling humans of their existence and going on certain areas of land. It was rough at first, but eventually the two groups were able to coexist somewhat peacefully.

As the years passed, the werewolf shape shifter gene was passed on and there were no longer any humans residing in Schitt’s Creek. Both species found solace in not having to live in the shadows all of the time. Besides a random passerby every once in a while, the residents of Schitt’s Creek had little to no contact with humans.

Until the Roses came to town.

The town’s vampire inhabitants were panicked about the motel’s new occupants, but Patrick wasn’t concerned. He had been able to resist the temptation of human blood before and he could do it again. Patrick thought he would be okay with having humans in town. He really did.

Until David Rose sauntered into Patrick’s store with an unreadable mind. 

At first, Patrick thought he had just met someone with quiet thoughts. He rationalized that if physically moved closer to David, he would hear something. Patrick emerged from the back of his store and was greeted with radio silence from David’s mind.

The vampire’s next thought was maybe David was just so vapid he lacked the ability to think. That theory immediately got squashed when David opened his mouth and passionately stated his opinions on the store’s layout.

There was another problem.

David had the most appealing blood Patrick had ever encountered. It smelled almost floral, roselike, but it also reminded him of the finest Italian wine. While Patrick had been resisting human blood for most of his second life, he had been tempted before. But never quite like this.

The situation was made so much worse by his attraction to David. The human was tall, dark, and handsome. He pretty much checked all of Patrick’s boxes except for his secret thoughts. If he thought too much about David’s physical attributes, the vampire venom that ran through Patrick’s veins would run south.

Patrick had come to terms with his sexuality long ago. He wasn’t ashamed of who he was, but maybe he was embarrassed of how long it took him to realize.

Accepting his sexual orientation and acting on it were two different things. Patrick had never actually been with a man before. He had just never encountered another gay, male vampire. 

Sure, Patrick wasn’t ashamed to admit that he’s taken note of the physical appearances of some of the werewolves while they were in their human forms. Ted and Jake specifically were easy on the eyes. But Patrick couldn’t cope with their wolf scents. Also, they seemed delicate compared to him.

Patrick’s concern came from the fact that he was feeling sexually attracted to a human. He could never act on it because David was too fragile. Breakable. Patrick could shatter his bones in an instant if he wanted to. 

A feral part of him wanted to. Another part of him wanted to interrogate David until he knew his every thought.

There was no way in hell Patrick could hire him. It was too dangerous. Patrick didn’t trust himself enough to be alone with David in any capacity, let alone spending entire days working together.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. Patrick dealt with customers and unpacked products. His focus was clouded. He couldn’t stop thinking about David Rose.

At closing time, Patrick locked the door and put up the “Closed” sign. He pivoted and saw the display of toilet plungers and brushes. He stared at the products and thought of David. Patrick wondered what David would think if he moved them to the back of the store. 

He also wondered what David thought at all.

After taking his time completing his closing tasks, Patrick headed to the house he shared with Ray.

Ray was seated on the living room couch, staring intensely at his laptop. He appeared to be working on a flyer for whatever his latest business venture was. Ray ran so many businesses, Patrick would lose track if he wasn’t a _literal mindreader _.__

__Patrick had initially moved in with Ray out of convenience. He needed somewhere to put his clothes and few material possessions while he was settling in Schitt’s Creek. In the beginning, he contemplated just getting a storage unit or something because he didn’t need a space to sleep or prepare meals. Being a vampire could be pretty lonely at times, so he was glad to have Ray around._ _

__The two made casual small talk before Ray launched into a story about meeting with Moira and Johnny Rose to discuss selling the town. Patrick would have felt hopeful at this topic, but he heard Ray’s unspoken thoughts about having difficulty finding a buyer._ _

__As Ray continued talking, Patrick’s mind wandered back to the elusive David Rose. He had to talk about it._ _

__“Ray, have you ever come across a human whose blood smells better than everyone else’s?” Patrick asked, interrupting Ray mid-sentence._ _

__“Once.” Ray responded._ _

__“How did you deal with that?” Patrick asked._ _

__Ray didn’t verbally answer. Patrick immediately regretted asking as he saw the blood stained memory flash through Ray’s mind. David couldn’t suffer the same fate. Patrick wouldn’t let that happen._ _

__Patrick wordlessly walked to his room to consider his options._ _

__He considered moving far away. Patrick could escape to somewhere remote and desolate just until the Rose family left town. Realistically, it didn’t seem likely the family would be leaving anytime soon._ _

__He also considered the possibility that David’s blood smelled that divine to other vampires and not exclusively Patrick. If that were the case, David Rose’s days would be numbered and leaving would be a bad idea._ _

___What if David needed protection? Who would save him from a potential vampire attack? _The man was currently lodging in Stevie’s motel, but even werewolves had limitations.__ _ _

____Another option Patrick considered was hunting excessively. Currently, Patrick only hunted every few weeks or a few times per month. If he hunted more regularly, maybe he could overcome the temptation of David Rose._ _ _ _

____Patrick decided on the latter. He decided to take charge and go hunting tonight._ _ _ _

____At twilight, Patrick left his home and took off towards the woods. His plan was to hunt locally tonight and maybe seek out other wildlife areas next week._ _ _ _

____Patrick was tracking his favorite local prey, a large elk. Leaves rustled behind him, scaring the deer as Patrick was about to pounce._ _ _ _

_____Brewer. _A gruff voice thought nearby.__ _ _ _ _

______“Ronnie?” Patrick whispered into the darkness, confused._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Don’t hire him,” She said commandingly. “It won’t end well.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Patrick wasn’t the only vampire in town with a special gift. There were a few others who had intriguing capabilities. Most notably, Twyla and Ronnie. Twyla had the ability to control the emotions of others. Ronnie’s uncommon talent was the ability to see the future. Her visions weren’t always reliable and were ever-changing because of infinitesimal decisions made here and there._ _ _ _ _ _

______The need to elaborate was on the tip of Patrick’s tongue. Suddenly, Ronnie’s visions danced into his mind. David Rose as a monster with ruby red eyes and unquenchable thirst for blood. David Rose getting a paper cut in the general store that turns into a death sentence. David Rose laying lifeless on a hardwood floor with shards of glass and his leg snapped into an impossible angle. David Rose dead._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It won’t end well,” Ronnie repeated._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What should I do?” Patrick whispered into the darkness, but Ronnie had already left._ _ _ _ _ _

______Patrick was a take charge kind of guy. He knew what he needed to do. The best course of action would be to leave Schitt’s Creek. Maybe not forever, but at least for a while. He needed to get as far away from the Roses as possible._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Not knowing where else to go, Patrick headed to Alaska._ _ _ _ _ _

______He hadn’t seen Rachel in a while. They had a complicated history, but the last time they had seen each other it was on good terms._ _ _ _ _ _

______In the early years of Patrick’s second life, he hated her. Patrick strongly resented Rachel for turning him into a bloodsucking monster. She had earnestly tried to teach him how to avoid human blood, but his distain for her only made him want to rebel. Instead of adapting to her lifestyle, Patrick bolted and turned into a vigilante._ _ _ _ _ _

______Years later, their paths crossed again. Patrick had made peace with his transformation. He was ready to change. Rachel was patient with him and helped him modify his diet and revise his lifestyle. For the first time in his immortal life, Patrick didn’t hate himself._ _ _ _ _ _

______Things eventually took a romantic turn. Patrick cared about Rachel, but not the way she cared about him. He loved her and didn’t want to hurt her, but he didn’t feel passion towards her. Despite having near endless stamina, Patrick never really wanted to have sex with Rachel. There was respect, but no spark._ _ _ _ _ _

______It reminded him of his marriage. During his human life, Patrick was married. The intricate details of his human life are unclear to his vampire brain, but he remembered how he felt towards her. He cared about her, but he didn’t feel the way he was supposed to. Patrick married her out of obligation and stuck by her side until the day of his metamorphosis._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was 1969 when Patrick realized he was gay. Rachel and Patrick were listening to records in their small apartment. It started out innocently enough. David Bowie’s Space Oddity was flowing through the speakers. Patrick was a huge fan of the album and couldn’t get enough of it._ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Do you like have a crush on him or something?” Rachel said jokingly. _____ _ _ _ _

________In that moment, Patrick realized why he had never felt the way he was supposed to about Rachel or his late wife. She was right. He was interested in men. It made perfect sense, but he also couldn’t believe he didn’t see it sooner._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It took five long years for Patrick to work through his feelings and eventually come out to Rachel. She accepted him and still wanted him around as a platonic companion. Patrick considered it, but he felt a massive amount of guilt for wasting so much of her time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He ventured off on his own, eventually settling in Schitt’s Creek. She headed north and settled in the Alaskan wilderness. The pair remained acquaintances and visited each other from time to time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Patrick approached Rachel’s home cautiously. It looked drastically different from the last time he had been here. It appeared as though she added a large deck overlooking the grounds._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He realized he probably should have called first. What if she wasn’t even home?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Patrick?” Rachel called, sounding confused as she exited her house._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Patrick greeted her and the two fell into easy conversation. Rachel filled him in on the construction of her house and her job. She also told him about the grizzly bears she hunted recently. Patrick talked about the store and the friendly rivalries within Schitt’s Creek’s vampire baseball league._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Patrick didn’t mention David Rose at all, but his mind drifted to the human throughout the entirety of the conversation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You seem distracted, Patrick. What’s going on?” Rachel asked earnestly."Have you met someone?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Patrick was torn. He was dying to talk about David Rose, but he didn’t want to upset Rachel. At the same time, he didn’t want Rachel to think he was being dramatic and building up a very short interaction into something it wasn’t._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No.” Patrick said too quickly. Technically, he did meet someone he was interested in, but there was no way it could ever turn into anything. His brief interaction with David Rose had Patrick ready to upend his entire life to avoid the man._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She saw right through him because _of course _she did.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Why won’t you tell me about him?” Rachel asked thoughtfully._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Patrick wasn’t sure how to even begin. Things with David could never feasibly work out so it seemed pointless to talk about._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Is he a werewolf?” Rachel asked conspiratorially. The first time Rachel had seen Schitt’s Creek she was astounded by the way the vampires and werewolves were able to coexist without regular, violent outbursts from either species._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Patrick refused to answer and stared into the distance, looking at the trees and thinking about his next meal._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Rachel gasped. _A human? _He heard her thought before she had the chance to vocalize it. Patrick continued to stand there silently.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rachel responded to his silent answer by breaking out into a fit of laughter. “Are you _serious, _Patrick? After all the shit you gave me for turning you?!”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patrick didn’t want to confirm or deny it, so instead he veered slightly off topic._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Have you ever smelled someone’s blood that had a better scent than anything you’ve ever smelled before?” Patrick asked wistfully. “Better than any other human’s blood?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I work in a _hospital, _Patrick. Of course I have.” She said.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“What do you do?” He asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Patrick eagerly listened to her thoughts on dealing with humans with exceptionally appealing blood. The first step of her strategy was to spend as much time with them as possible to try to desensitize herself from their scent. If that didn’t seem doable, Rachel just simply held her breath. Vampires didn’t need oxygen, however it was annoying to be stripped of a major sense. Not breathing also made humans suspicious._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Just move your chest and shoulders a little bit to avoid suspicion.” She stated plainly. “If I can be around humans, you can be around your man.” She added with a wink._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Of course Rachel, a true progressive, would be supportive of this. It was wrong and immoral, not to mention flat out dangerous for David._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He closed his eyes and told her about some the things he saw in Ronnie’s visions. Patrick didn’t go too far into detail. He didn’t like thinking about David Rose as a lifeless body in a pool of blood._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“How accurate are her visions?” Rachel asked sincerely._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Okay. _That _was _a pretty good point. Ronnie’s visions were fickle at best and deceptive at worst. Some things she was able to predict, like lottery numbers or specials at the cafe. But anything that required intricate decision making or was too far into the future was often unstable. The visions he saw weren’t exactly timestamped so Patrick had no when they were supposed to take place.____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Well, I don’t even know what his sexual preferences are,” Patrick added as an afterthought._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________She stared at him, wondering how he could say something so stupid. “Hmm, if only you could hear other people’s thoughts. A skill like that would be really handy right about now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Patrick sighed deeply. “I can’t read his mind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Rachel exploded into another fit of giggles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________After a few days in Alaska, Patrick’s phone started to flood with text messages from Schitt’s Creek. Most of them were from his baseball teammates bragging about their big win without him. Ray asked where he was and why he just suddenly vanished for several days. There was even a text from Jocelyn Schitt asking why the store was closed and if he was okay._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He missed his community more than he thought he would. Patrick missed he life and his quirky little store._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Maybe he could handle the David Rose situation. Maybe he was being overdramatic about the whole thing. Rachel seemed to think so._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________After spending a final day hunting grizzlies with Rachel, Patrick headed home._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Patrick got back to Schitt’s Creek just in time to open the store Tuesday morning. The day passed by sluggishly. Patrick pretended not notice the Rose family sans David entering the cafe. He ignored his concern for the man and focused on unpacking a box of candles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________His back was turned when he heard the bell ring, signifying the door opening. Patrick didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. He could hear her thoughts and knew she would probably stop by today._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He turned around to see Stevie Budd staring at him with one eyebrow slightly raised. “What happened, Brewer?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________The vampire was at a loss for words. He didn’t know how to explain himself to her. Patrick didn’t want the werewolves to know affected he was by David’s blood. He didn’t want the wolf pack to know how weak he was. The chestnut haired vampire was also afraid of disturbing decades of peace between the two species. Another part of Patrick was afraid to admit his infatuation to Stevie because she would definitely make fun of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Intimidated” was the word he settled on. He told Stevie he was intimidated by the presence of David Rose._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Intimidated?” She echoed, laughing. “He’s a prissy human who complains about towels and the thread counts of sheets. He’s afraid of spiders and moths. I took him to the clinic today because he swore he was having a heart attack, but it turned out to be anxiety. I don’t really think you have anything to be intimidated by. As a mind reader, you really should’ve figured that out as soon as he walked through the door.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“That’s the problem,” Patrick said, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath through his mouth to avoid Stevie’s wolf odor. “I can’t read his mind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Predictably, Stevie also found this pretty funny._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________The second part of Stevie’s statement about David Rose caught up to him. “Wait, he went to the clinic? Is he okay?” Patrick asked, desperately trying to keep the panic out of his voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Stevie eyed him curiously. She verbally assured Patrick that David was alright. Soon enough, her mind worked through a series of questions._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Patrick quickly answered them before she had a chance to vocalize them. He knew this type of one sided conversation annoyed her, and he had to do something to maintain the upper hand. “No, I’ve never met anyone whose mind I couldn’t read.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Stevie’s mind drifted to Ronnie and the limitations of her visions. The werewolves were Ronnie’s biggest blindspot. She couldn’t see them and any vision of future heavily involving them would be warped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I thought about that,” Patrick said, pausing to choose his next words carefully. “But he’s definitely human. He has a human heartbeat. He also smells very… human. Unless you know of any other types of supernatural beings, besides vampires and overgrown dogs, I think he’s human,” he added with a smirk._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Brewer, get out of my head!” Stevie said with a huff, crossing her arms over her chest. She wondered if Patrick was able to read the minds of any of the other Roses. Patrick hadn’t encountered the rest of the Rose family, so he was unsure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He didn’t want to push her too far so he stopped responding to her thoughts and waited for her to speak. The last thing he needed was for her to get too angry and phase in the middle of the store, wiping out half of the stock._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“A really good way to investigate this situation would be to hire him as a part-time sales associate,” she said with teasing glint in her eye. “You could say you’re doing it on a trial basis and it would help me out because he won’t be moping around the motel as much. He also seems super freaked out because he thinks he insulted you.” The thought of her being sick of David talking about his weird interaction with Patrick remained in her head, but that didn’t mean Patrick didn’t hear it any less clearly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________After completing the store’s closing tasks, it was still somewhat bright out. Sunny weather was rare for Schitt’s Creek, but when the weather was clear Patrick liked to take advantage of it. Due to his _condition, _he couldn’t go out much during the day so bright evenings were his favorite.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Patrick decided to make the most of this evening and went on a hike. He decided to go to Rattlesnake Point, his favorite trail on the outskirts of town._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________One of Patrick’s least favorite part about becoming a vampire, besides the near constant urge to murder, was the amount of time he had. Patrick essentially had limitless time. He was immortal. The vampire didn’t need to sleep or rest. It was hard finding things to do to pass the time. Most of his life was devoted to the store, but even that could only take up so much time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He took his time ascending Rattlesnake Point. Patrick was hiking almost at human pace. The vampire tried his best not to think about David Rose, instead he forced himself to focus on the sounds of the woods around him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________When Patrick got to the top of the Point, the sun was just about to finish setting. He stood and watched the sun dip below the horizon, forcing himself not to think about his own loneliness or the conversation he had with Stevie. The vampire gazed at the darkening sky and watched as stars appeared._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________After Patrick stargazed for what felt like days, he headed back to his car. His descent pace was noticeably quicker and soon his silver Volvo came into view._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He slid into the driver’s seat and glanced at his cell phone that had been haphazardly discarded onto the passenger’s seat. Patrick picked it up and his faint eyebrows furrowed when he saw two voicemails from an unknown number. He curiously hit play on the first message._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________“Hi David, it’s Patrick. I was just calling to sort of clear the air? I got your number from Stevie. I don’t think your store is that bad… I just think if you made some changes it could be better. Okay. Ciao.” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Patrick chuckled and pressed play on the second message._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________“Hi Patrick. Yeah, I think I called you David, which that’s not— that’s not your name. You can just delete that text. The me— the voicemail that I left you. Um.” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________The second message ended abruptly and Patrick wondered why David seemed so flustered. Was he just awkward on the phone or was it because it was a phone call to Patrick? The vampire tried to not get his hopes up that the human might feel some sort of connection._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Without thinking, Patrick tapped David’s number and called him back. The call went straight to voicemail._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Hi Patrick, it’s David,” Patrick said with a light chuckle. “I also feel like the need to clear the air with you. I got defensive and acted rude and for that I apologize. Why don’t you stop by the store tomorrow and we can discuss this further. Thanks.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________When Patrick ended the call, he saw the time on his phone screen and cringed. 1:37 am. He had been stargazing for longer than he realized! David was probably fast asleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Patrick hastily tapped David’s phone number again. “Hi David. I didn’t realize how late it was when I returned your call? I’m sorry that was very unprofessional. Don’t feel like you have to come tomorrow? But also you can?” Patrick hated how unsure he sounded on the phone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________The rest of the night had been spent hunting. He wasn’t necessarily thirsty, in fact, he probably could have gone for much longer without blood. But in the off chance David showed up at the store, Patrick wanted to be prepared._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________The morning passed sluggishly. The store had steady foot traffic, but none of it was from David’s high top sneakers. By mid afternoon, Patrick had given up hope on seeing the mysterious man with dark eyebrows._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________An hour before closing time, Patrick began moving the toilet plungers and brushes. No longer front and center, the items were instead tucked into a corner towards the back. He stared at the empty space, contemplating what to put there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Suddenly, the bell attached to the door rang. Patrick heard the door open and footsteps but _no thoughts. _The vampire was greeted with the recognizable aroma of David Rose. He rapidly turned to see the raven haired man standing in his store, smirking at the vacant spot where the plungers used to be.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I should have the third chapter up somewhat soonish! (:


	3. A Wicky Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick adjusts to having a new employee. Ronnie warns Patrick about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends! Thank you all so much for reading and supporting this! I'm having a lot of fun writing it and I am touched that anyone would spend their time reading this! 🖤I've updated the tags with things regarding content in future chapters so please be mindful of that.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: blood, talk of murder, nothing is too graphic in this chapter
> 
> Also, I promise the next few chapters after this will focus on our beloved David Rose 🖤
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

David’s first day at Schitt’s Creek General Store made Patrick realize how out of touch he was with humans. The vampire had experience masquerading as human, but never for an extended period of time.

He had no idea how often humans ate or needed to take breaks. To Patrick’s surprise, humans didn’t need to eat nearly as often as werewolves. It was also strange because Patrick had to pretend he also needed to take lunch breaks and sit down sometimes. Patrick tried to take note of how often David blinked and tried to mimic the behavior, but sometimes he forgot. The dark haired man was also more perceptive than Patrick would have thought.

“So are people in this town like _really_ into colored contacts?” David asked teasingly as he rearranged a soap display.

“What?” Patrick asked, trying to keep the shock out of his voice.

“Mmm. Your eyes were black the first time I met you. Now they’re gold,” David said matter-of-factly. “Twyla’s too.”

“I think it’s just the lighting in here, David,” Patrick said confidently. “It’s the fluorescents.” He added firmly. 

One glance at David’s facial expression told Patrick the man didn’t buy his excuse. To stop this conversation from progressing, Patrick needed to create a diversion. He spotted a bottle of juice David had snagged from the refrigerator. He unscrewed the lid and stared out the window as he took a small sip. Patrick didn’t have a human digestive system and drinking this juice would have repercussions later, but it was the quickest thing he thought of.

“Um. Is that your juice?” David asked, raising a dark eyebrow.

“Technically, I think it’s _our_ juice because you just took it from the fridge and didn’t pay for it so,” Patrick responded.

“Mmm. It’s just that I don’t normally share beverages with people.” David said, squinting his eyes slightly and moving his hands for emphasis. 

Earlier in the day, Patrick had noticed how David sometimes waved his hands and fidgeted with the rings on his fingers when he talked. The vampire thought it was cute and tried to keep a mental note of the topics that got David riled up enough to talk with his hands.

“Really? That is _shocking_ news.” Patrick stated, mockingly.

David made a sound in agreement. “Fortunately, you look like you have a clean mouth so…”

“Sorry? A clean mouth?” Patrick asked, taking another sip. It tasted repulsive to him, but he was committed to the bit at this point.

“Yeah, some people have nice clean mouths and some people have sloppy mouths,” David explained as his face turned slightly red.

“I see,” Patrick said with a small chuckle.

“Can I have my juice back, please?” The dark haired man asked.

“No, you have a sloppy mouth.” Patrick said as he disappeared into the back storage room.

David’s first few days at the store occurred without any major incidents. Patrick was relieved he was able to keep himself composed while in the same space as David. As a general rule, Patrick made sure he didn’t get too close to David while working. There were only a few times Patrick had to hold his breath because the human smelled so delectable.

The near constant flow of customers also helped Patrick’s situation. It seemed like half the town came into the store to catch a glimpse of the human. Knowing that a werewolf or fellow vampire could walk into the store at any moment to stop him from killing David was a relief to Patrick.

Hearing the curious thoughts and chatter about David was also quite entertaining and sometimes Patrick had to fight laughter. It was somewhat reassuring to Patrick that he wasn’t the only one in awe over the enigma of David Rose.

Overall, Patrick really liked having David in the store. Their back and forth banter made the time go by faster. The constant sound of David’s heartbeat was also strangely soothing to Patrick. The vampire also wasn’t one to complain about the boost in sales. The human also had some really intriguing suggestions and ideas for the store.

After David pointed out how “trashy”, the counter where the cash register sat and some of the shelves looked, the vampire started to look for replacements. Patrick would have used a different word to describe them, but he had to agree that some areas of the store were looking rough from years of wear and tear.

He decided to call Jake, the town’s resident woodworker and antique collector. Patrick figured it would be a good way to support a local business and find something unique as per David’s suggestion. The werewolf promised to come in while the store was open to further assess his needs.

On David’s third day at the general store, Patrick was horrified to learn he wasn’t the only one in town who was drawn to the allure of David Rose.

Jake walked into the store and immediately checked David out. Anger flashed through Patrick as Jake scanned David’s body and the word “sexy” flickered through his mind. Sure, David was sexy, but that wouldn’t have been the first word Patrick would have chosen to describe him. Patrick would have chosen something along the lines of charming, gorgeous, or fascinating.

Patrick greeted Jake and quickly launched into what type of furniture he was looking for. He talked quickly in an attempt to get Jake out of the store as soon as possible. 

David looked up from the clipboard where he was taking inventory of the floor stock and stared at Patrick quizzically. Jake’s eyes raked over David’s sweater clad torso and imagined what the human looked like without clothes.

The vampire tried to stay calm throughout the consultation. He really did. But Jake’s fantasies got more and more graphic as the conversation went on. The werewolf wondered what David’s stubble would feel like between his thighs. He imagined bending David over the table in the middle of the store. His mind drifted to fucking David on the sink in the store’s small bathroom. Not only was it obscene and grotesque, but it was just _too much._ Jake had yet to speak to David, but was wasting no time objectifying him.

What made the situation so much worse was that Jake was well aware Patrick could read minds! Yet he made no effort to control his thoughts. It was as if the werewolf didn’t even care. Rage simmered within Patrick. How could Jake be so vulgar about _his_ David right in front of him?

“Do you have a measuring tape somewhere? I left mine at home and I’d love to get an exact measurement of this area.” Jake said with a flirty smile.

“I think it’s about four feet,” Patrick said, tensely refusing to break eye contact. The vampire knew this was a ruse to get him out of the room, so Jake could hit on David.

“I know, but I need to know the exact number so I know how much _wood_ we need. I can’t give you a price until I know how much _wood,_ ” Jake said, putting extra emphasis on the word “wood.”

Patrick hated him and regretted ever trying to support this douchebag. He wordlessly went into the back storage room to look for measuring tape. The vampire gritted his teeth as he listened to Jake shamelessly flirt with David.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you around here before,” Jake purred seductively. “I’m Jake.”

“My family and I just moved into town a few weeks ago,” David responded.

Part of Patrick hoped that David was actually straight, but it didn’t seem like it from the way the two were chatting and tittering in the main store room.

He stomped around the back room so Jake nor David could forget his presence. When the urge to break something got too strong, he approached the chair in front of his desk and unceremoniously ripped the arm off.

He wondered how bad the repercussions would be if he killed Jake. Maybe he could convince David to go on the run with him and they could be fugitives together. It was in that moment that Patrick realized how irrational he was being.

Patrick needed to get a grip. David wasn’t _his_. He never could be. Patrick could think about the fantasy all he wanted, but it would never work between them. While a werewolf was probably not the most ideal mate for David, they were hot headed and unpredictable, Jake was probably a better option than Patrick. 

If anything, Patrick should be happy for David. The dark haired man just had his entire life uprooted and was struggling with anxiety because of it. The human was also unknowingly employed by an apex predator. Maybe having someone like Jake around would be good for David. Jake could probably at least attempt to protect David from a monster like Patrick.

Patrick located the measuring tape but took his time returning to the store. He didn’t want to ruin this moment for David. The pale vampire took a few deep breaths to center himself and walked into the main room. Patrick returned just in time to see Jake take the clipboard and pen from David. The werewolf wrote his phone number in large, messy print.

“Give me a call or text if you ever want to come over for a _whiskey or whatever,_ ” Jake said with a smoldering look.

Patrick cleared his throat to interrupt the pair.

“Oh hey! You found measuring tape!” Jake said, holding his hands out to catch it. Ignoring his urge to violently propel the instrument at Jake’s head, Patrick lightly tossed it. The werewolf caught it with ease and Patrick fought the desire to roll his eyes.

Jake measured the area in silence while taking notes on his phone.

“Offer is open to you too.” Jake said. “I don’t discriminate,” he added with a wink, low enough so David couldn’t hear. 

Before Patrick had the chance to process what was happening, Jake leaned in and kissed Patrick on the cheek. The werewolf turned and walked out of the store without a care.

The rest of the work day was uncomfortable at best, agonizing at worst. There was a thick tension in the air that Patrick couldn’t quite dissipate. For what felt like the millionth time, Patrick wondered what David Rose was thinking.

After work, Patrick needed to do something to blow off some steam. He headed back to Rattlesnake Point and tried to force himself not to think about David and Jake. As he made it to the top of the point, He couldn’t help but wonder if David would call Jake.

His mind wandered to Jake’s other offer. Could Patrick have sex with a werewolf? Maybe if he held his breath the entire time to avoid the odor. 

In his early years, he had heard tales of vampires having sex with humans. But those stories always ended in tragedy and death. Patrick figured the outcome wouldn’t be much different with a shape-shifting werewolf. 

There was also a part of Patrick that knew he only really wanted David.

As he roamed off of the hiking trail, Patrick wished alcohol had an effect on his system or his body required sleep. He just needed something to take the edge off of today.

Patrick was dreading work the next day. The vampire normally loved his little store and a lot of the mundanity of work dissipated with the addition of David Rose. But the atmosphere was so tense at close. He also couldn’t help but speculate if David knew why Patrick was so moody.

After wandering around aimlessly in the woods, Patrick noticed the sun starting to rise. He headed home to change his clothes before work. David seemed like the type of person who cared a lot about clothes and appearances; he would definitely notice if someone came to work wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Patrick got to the store earlier than usual. He spent the extra time pouring over spreadsheets. The store had a small growth in sales compared to the previous month. 

Schitt’s Creek General Store was due to get a large shipment of inventory, so Patrick rearranged some boxes in the back to make more room.

All too soon, he heard David gently rapping on the front door to be let in. Patrick walked to the front of the store while checking the time on his phone. _Ten minutes late._

“You’re late,” Patrick said coldly.

“Sorry, my mom…” David started and then trailed off. “Actually, it doesn’t matter. Sorry.”

The morning crawled by at a snail’s pace. David seemed… more subdued than usual. The man lacked his usual chattiness. There were no jokes at Patrick’s expense. Their usual quips had been replaced by awkward silence and folk music flowing quietly through the store’s speakers.

The shipment of new inventory arrived early and Patrick was relieved. He finally had an excuse not to be in the same room as David Rose. Patrick helped the driver unload the boxes and planned to organize the stock once he was finished pretending to take a lunch break.

After David had returned from his actual lunch break, Patrick sent him into the back room with a box cutter and the task of opening boxes containing the new stock. The vampire worked the floor while David set out to complete his mission.

Suddenly, the door swung open and Ronnie rushed in with a panicked look in her eyes. Patrick hadn’t seen Ronnie since before his trip to Alaska. Truth be told, he was avoiding her. He directly disobeyed her wishes and didn’t want to face her judgement.

“Where is he?” She asked in panicked whisper. Before Patrick had the chance to answer, Ronnie imagined a recent vision. David was opening boxes and got nicked with the box cutter. Patrick smelled the blood and totally lost control.

“When?” Patrick said, failing to keep the fear out of his voice. He heard the answer in her mind. Soon.

There was no way he was killing David Rose today. He had come too far. Patrick was going to do everything in his power to stop that future from unfolding.

“Actually David, could you come out here, please? Bring the box cutter.” Patrick said, opening the curtain to the back room. David walked to the main store room at an average human pace. “I’ll open the boxes. Can you dust some of the shelves? I can’t reach the top ones and you’re taller than me so…” Patrick said, holding his hand out for the box cutter.

As David gave Patrick the box cutter, their fingers grazed. “Fuck, Patrick your hands are freezing!” David exclaimed.

Patrick stammered out an excuse of the store being too cold while he got David a dust rag and a step stool to reach the highest shelves.

As David started dusting, Patrick turned back to Ronnie. “Better?” He asked in a voice too low for David to hear. 

Ronnie had a faraway look she often adorned when trying to see into the future. She nodded slightly. Patrick exhaled a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“I told you this wouldn’t end well, Brewer.” She whispered firmly. Ronnie glared at Patrick one final time before turning and leaving the store.

Patrick stared at the door for several moments after Ronnie left. He had come really close to killing David without even realizing it. When Patrick finally looked away, he glanced at David, who was staring at him quizzically with one eyebrow raised.

“I’m just going to…” Patrick started, but the words got caught in his throat. He held up the box cutter and vaguely gestured to the back room. Patrick crossed the threshold into the room and closed the curtain for the illusion of privacy.

Patrick finished opening the boxes all too quickly. He took a moment to risk assess the backroom. After deeming the space safe enough for David, Patrick meandered to the front of the store, carrying two boxes of products to put out.

David was finished dusting. He was staring wistfully out the tinted windows and fidgeting with the rings on his right fingers. The store was quiet today. The town’s curiosity with the shop’s newest employee must have waned.

“So are you going to call him?” Patrick asked, slowly unpacking a box of fungal cream.

“Who?” David asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Jake.” Patrick clarified. In all honesty, Patrick wasn’t quite sure why he was asking. Not only was it unprofessional, but there was a high likelihood that the answer would hurt him. “Are you going to have a whiskey or whatever with Jake?” Patrick asked, forcing a teasing tone.

“Mm. Are _you?_ ” David asked, voice raising in pitch.

“No,” Patrick said firmer than necessary.

David took a pregnant pause before speaking again. “Patrick, why do you keep the fungal cream next to the breakfast cereal? It’s _gross._ ”

Instead of answering, Patrick tasked David with setting out a box of glass candles. The bell rung as the door swung open. Patrick smiled at the newcomer.

“Hey buds,” Ted greeted both David and Patrick.

Patrick and Ted didn’t know each other that well, but Patrick deeply respected the werewolf. _Correction:_ Ted didn’t know Patrick that well. When Ted was around, Patrick had the rare experience of not hating his unique ability.

Ted had one of the kindest minds Patrick had ever heard. The doctor had genuinely good intentions and a pure heart. Out of all of the werewolves, he seemed the least fiery. His overall essence vaguely reminded Patrick of a golden retriever.

As Ted browsed the store’s wares, his mind drifted to the new receptionist at the clinic. The doctor was thinking about her pretty eyes and spunkiness. Patrick attempted to tune it out to give the doctor some privacy, but it was kind of sweet. The vampire had yet to meet Alexis Rose, but he already found himself rooting for her and Ted.

Ted’s thoughts were interrupted by a small crash from David’s corner of the store. 

“Wait, David.” Patrick said quickly. “I’ll clean up the glass.”

But it was too late. David seemed flustered and immediately bent down to pick up the small shards of glass with his bare hands. Patrick stopped breathing before the scent of fresh blood could enter his nostrils. 

At least if he lost control, Ted would be here to stop him. It would be torturous to hear Ted’s sincere, guilty thoughts as he transformed into his wolf form and ripped Patrick apart. But if that’s what had to happen to keep David safe, then so be it.

“Are you okay?” Patrick asked, shooting Ted a panicked look. “Did you get cut?” He asked again, backing towards the front door so he could bolt if he needed to. 

Ted’s eyes met Patrick’s and the werewolf repositioned himself so he was blocking David from Patrick’s view.

“I’m okay,” David said as the color drained from his face. “I just don’t really do well with blood.”

Patrick laughed humorlessly. “Neither do I,” the vampire admitted.

“Patrick, do you have a first aid kit somewhere?” Ted asked, inspecting David’s hand. “None of the cuts are deep, but I just want to make sure all of the glass is out.”

“B-bathroom,” Patrick stuttered.

He watched Ted direct David into the small bathroom. The doctor located the first aid kit with ease. Patrick tried not to think about how whatever was in the kit was practically ancient at this point. He had no need for a first aid kit, but when he took over the store he found one in the bathroom. Not knowing what to do with it, he just left it under the sink.

The vampire heard David’s heart rate quicken and breathing become labored as Ted pulled on rubber gloves and poked around his wounds.

“Here, let’s have you sit down, big guy.” Ted said, gently guiding David into a sitting position on the bathroom floor. The werewolf maneuvered David so his head was in between his knees and tried to supervise soothing breathing exercises. “It’s okay, David. It’s going to be okay.”

Patrick was shocked to believe Ted’s thoughts mostly mirrored this sentiment. Sure, the doctor had some reservations with Patrick being in the vicinity, but overall, he thought it was going to be alright. 

It wasn’t going to be okay. There was a bloodthirsty murderer in the room. How was Ted so calm about this?

“I just don’t like the smell of blood?” David said faintly as Ted worked on cleaning and bandaging the cuts. “It grosses me out.”

Patrick’s eyebrows furrowed at this statement. _Humans could smell blood?_

The vampire wanted to clean up the glass or do something to comfort David. The last thing they needed was for David or Ted to get cut on the glimmering shards. But he didn’t trust himself enough to move towards the bathroom.

Once David felt well enough, Ted pulled him into a standing position. After exiting the bathroom, David profusely apologized to both Ted and Patrick.

“Go home, David,” Patrick said, trying to sound light. “See you tomorrow. Feel better.”

David looked like he was ready to argue before Ted cut in with an offer to drive him back to the motel.

“Thank you, Ted.” Patrick said wholeheartedly.

“Hey, glad I was here to help get a _candle_ on this _wicky situation,_ ” Ted said with a dopey grin.

David groaned dramatically as he exited the store.

After the human and werewolf had left, Patrick decided to close early. He locked the door and flipped the sign. The lights were shut off to discourage shoppers.

Still not trusting himself to breathe, he set out to clean the store. His goal was to do this as thoroughly and as quickly as possible. He started by gathering the broken glass and putting it in a trash bag. 

The next step was to clean up the blood. Patrick swiftly walked into the back room and grabbed a bottle of bleach. He unscrewed the lid and put his nose to the opening. The vampire inhaled for the first time since the candle dropped. The acrid scent filled his nose and Patrick began holding his breath again. 

He worked methodically. Honestly, it wasn’t a lot of blood, but it was enough to send a vampire into a feeding frenzy. When he was certain all of the blood was gone, Patrick continued scrubbing the floors with bleach. The repetitive action somewhat distracted him from the fact that he almost killed David twice today.

After Patrick was satisfied with the storeroom, he moved to the bathroom. Patrick thoroughly wiped and scrubbed the surfaces in the bathroom. When he was contented, he took a deep breath and was relieved the bleach masked the scent of the blood.

He placed the paper towels and empty bottle of bleach into the trash bag and headed home.

Upon his arrival, Patrick deposited the bag into the makeshift fire pit Ray had put together in their small backyard. He gathered kindling and larger pieces of wood to put around the bag. The chestnut haired vampire lit a match and unceremoniously dropped it into the pit.

Patrick sat in the grass and watched the fire burn. The vampire wrapped his arms around his legs and blankly stared at the flames. He contemplated calling Rachel, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to talk about how he almost killed David Rose twice. Twice.

He could hear that Ray was home and puttering around the house, thinking concerned thoughts about Patrick. But Patrick really didn’t feel like talking to him either, so he just sat and watched as the flames faded to embers.

Patrick continued to sit and stare long after the fire went out.

“I almost killed David Rose,” Patrick said aloud to himself, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the panicked tears from falling.

It had been a few days since he had hunted. If he learned anything from today, it was that he needed to be well fed at all times. He rose from his spot on the ground and ran into the woods.

After Patrick was feeling sated and full, he roamed through the woods. He had the sudden urge to check on David. Before he realized what he was doing, Patrick started walking towards the hotel.

He didn’t exactly have a plan for what he would do when he got there. It was late and David was most likely sleeping. But the motel wasn’t known for being the most secure location in Schitt’s Creek. Realistically, Patrick could sneak into his window, make sure David was still breathing, and slink out without detection.

After everything that happened today, Patrick needed a reminder that David Rose was still alive. That’s what Patrick told himself as he approached the building. 

There was also a large part of him that was curious if he would be able to hear the thoughts of a sleeping David Rose. Maybe the man was less guarded asleep and Patrick would be able to see his dreams.

He took a deep inhale through his nose and was able to immediately pick out which motel room was David’s. Patrick peeked through the gap left by the slightly ajar curtains. He could see David laying on the bed closest to the window.

David, _who was shockingly wide awake_ , appeared to be watching some sort of British historical drama on his phone. David’s face was illuminated by the blue light, eyebrows knitted together in concentration.

The rest of the Roses were definitely sleeping. Alexis was vividly dreaming about a party on a _cute, huge_ yacht. 

_What time was it?_ Patrick pulled out his phone to check the time. It was 3:39 am. When checking the time, Patrick accidentally activated the flashlight feature. In his haste to turn it off, he accidentally dropped the device. The phone made an audible crunch when it hit the pavement. Patrick immediately dropped to the ground, desperately praying to a higher power that David didn’t hear his phone hit the ground.

_What the actual fuck was he doing here? Peering into David’s window like some weirdo? This wasn’t who he was. What was he thinking?_

The smartest move would have been to immediately run, but all of Patrick’s logic seemingly vanished whenever David Rose was involved. Patrick was usually more poised and put together than this, but something about David Rose made him graceless.

His nimble fingers grasped the cursed device and turned the flashlight off. He froze in horror when he heard the video David was watching abruptly stop.

“Alexis,” David whispered, frantically. “Alexis, did you hear that?”

“Mm. David stop.” Alexis mumbled sleepily.

David’s mattress creaked. The noise was followed by the sound of a few footsteps. When Patrick heard David’s heart palpitate and the door to the motel room unlock, the vampire ran to the forest like a bat out of hell.

Once he was safely hidden by the wooded area across the street from the motel, Patrick watched David fearfully open the door and squint into the darkness. Patrick’s jaw nearly hit the forest floor when he saw the t-shirt David was wearing. It was a white graphic tee printed with black lips and dripping fangs. 

Was it some sort of strange coincidence or did David Rose _know?_ It had to be a coincidence. There was no way David could have figured it out on his own. _Right?_

Patrick stood frozen as David retreated back into the motel room and closed and locked the door. He saw the curtains get pulled tighter together, totally covering the window.

The thought of spending another entire day with David, never knowing for sure if the human saw Patrick peering through his window or if David figured out his secret, pained Patrick.

Not knowing where else to go, Patrick walked to the general store. He planted himself in his broken desk chair, booted his laptop, and opened Excel. The simplicity of a good spreadsheet always calmed his nerves.

He dedicated the A column to possible actions he could take. The B column was for pros and the C column was for cons.

 **Fire David**  
**Pro:** Patrick wouldn’t have to work with him any longer  
**Con:** His every other thought would probably still be haunted by the cryptic David Rose  
He would feel bad about it

 **Make working at the store so miserable that David will quit**  
**Pro:** He wouldn’t have to feel bad about firing David  
**Con:** David would have to get a job somewhere else in town, possibly somewhere with vampires who haven’t been off of human blood as long as Patrick has

 **Run away (for real this time)**  
**Pro:** He would be away from David  
**Con:** He would be away from David  
Everything else

**Ask Ronnie to help him guess lottery numbers so he can buy the town from the Roses and hopefully they leave**  
**Pro:** He wouldn’t have to see David and his silky hair and thick eyebrows anymore  
**Con:** Very unlikely. Ronnie was far from Patrick’s biggest fan. 

**Continue to spend time with David to figure out what he knows**  
**Pro:** He could keep an eye on David, offer protection if necessary  
**Con:** Dangerous for David  
The only way he would really find out what David knows would be to ask 

**Kill David?**  
**Pro:** If he actively chose to murder David, it would be his choice. He would remain in  
control  
**Con:** ):  
The Rose family would definitely notice. He would probably have to kill the entire family  
and then skip town. 

He didn’t necessarily have to make a decision now, but all in all, he had to get better at pretending to be human. The Schitt’s Creek Treaty, as well as the unspoken rule of being a vampire prohibited telling humans. Patrick couldn’t let David figure out his secret. He would have to do his best to act inconspicuous and lay low for a while. 

The vampire spent the rest of the night studying humans. He researched body language and human psychology. It felt silly to him, but he had to do something to fight his paranoia. 

The shirt was probably a coincidence, but David did spend a decent amount of time at the store. Patrick had noticed the curious looks David gave to Patrick and Ronnie. David had also verbally mentioned Patrick’s cold skin and eye color change. 

The moment Patrick had been dreading arrived all too soon. It was time to open Schitt’s Creek General Store. 

Patrick was pulled from his thoughts by David’s gentle knocking on the store’s front door. Ten minutes early. The vampire shot out of his chair and briskly walked to the door. 

He was surprised to see David carrying two to go coffee cups from the cafe. 

“I asked Twyla what kind of coffee you usually got and she just sort of seemed confused, so I have no idea what's _actually_ in here,” the human said, handing Patrick a cup. 

“Thanks, David,” Patrick said, grabbing the coffee cup and bringing it to his lips but not actually taking a sip. “How are you feeling?” 

“Mmm. Mortified, mostly.” David started. “Almost losing consciousness at work over a few small scrapes is incorrect. B-but thanks for being cool about that yesterday?” David blushed slightly. 

Patrick may not have been able to read David’s mind, but he could tell the human was really embarrassed about yesterday afternoon. 

“It’s fine, David. But I am thinking about getting padded floors. I think it might be a good investment in case there isn’t a doctor here next time you almost faint. I don’t want you hitting your pretty little head on the floor and suing me,” Patrick said, in a tone he desperately hoped came across as a joke. 

David squinted his eyes and scrunched his brows. “Very funny.” 

There was still some tension in the air, but it was nowhere near as bad as yesterday. The duo continued putting out the stock that arrived, but never made it to the sales floor yesterday. They worked in companionable silence, only to be interrupted by a buzz from David’s phone. 

“My sister is outside. I just have to run a key to our room out to her because she forgot hers,” David said. 

“That’s fine,” Patrick dismissed. 

In David’s momentary absence, Patrick set out to finally put out the box of dreaded glass candles. He lifted the box from where he had previously shoved when he suddenly heard the loud screeching of tires. The tire squeals were immediately followed by Roland Schitt’s panicked thoughts of not being able to stop in time. Patrick dropped the box with a **clash** and ran outside as fast as he could. 

The chestnut haired vampire got there just as Roland’s pickup truck jumped the curb onto the sidewalk. The vehicle was headed straight for David. 

Patrick wrapped an arm around David’s waist, bracing him, and threw himself between the human and the truck. He and David hit the sidewalk as the vampire’s arm shot out, completely stopping the truck. Patrick was a statue. He couldn’t believe what had just almost happened, thankful that he made it out in time. 

“Dave, are you okay?” Roland shouted. The mayor had a large wound on his forehead that would probably require a few stitches. Fortunately, werewolves healed rapidly so he would probably be completely fine in a day or two. 

Roland’s shouting broke Patrick out of his trance. He was relieved he could feel David’s heart hammering against Patrick’s side. The vampire slowly pulled his hand away from truck and looked at the human he was still holding close. 

David appeared to be uninjured but was gaping up at Patrick with wide eyes and furrowed brows. 

“ _David?!_ ” Alexis Rose shrieked from her spot on the sidewalk. She was across the street and about a quarter of a block away. Patrick was soothed by her confused, frantic thoughts. The woman was too far away to see what had actually happened. 

She also had one of the _loudest_ minds Patrick had ever heard. Every thought was the equivalent of a shout. Her thoughts were a drastic juxtaposition from the silence he heard from David. 

The woman started running towards the scene, shouting her brother’s name. It was actually kind of impressive. The shoes she was wearing were not made for anything close to running, but she made it look effortless. 

Patrick quietly repositioned himself, so he was behind David. He wanted it to look like he pulled David away from the oncoming car. 

Alexis would buy that story. She had no reason not to. Roland would certainly cover for him. But there was one problem. There was a witness who saw exactly what happened. A witness with an _unreadable mind._

“How?” David whispered in shock. 

Well, so much for _inconspicuous._ There was no hiding his secret now. 


	4. A Dent Made By Patrick's Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David forms a theory about Patrick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, lovelies!!!!! ❤️ You're all my valentines this year! Thank you all so much for reading this! The comments on this truly make my day and I'm so happy people are enjoying this so far!
> 
> I need you all to do me a really big favor and suspend your disbelief enough that you can look past the medical inaccuracies in this and also that the american healthcare system is a mess and realistically David would be in a ton of debt by the end of this fic lol.
> 
> Anyhoo.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: brief hospital scene, anxiety, referenced drug use, actual drug use (weed) and I think that should cover it.

“How did you get out here so fast?” David asked, struggling to speak louder than the ringing in his ears and Alexis’ shrill voice. “How did you do that?” David asked, studying the wide dent in Roland’s bumper. _A dent made by Patrick’s hand._

He looked around trying to catch Patrick’s amber eyes. Somehow Patrick was behind him? A second ago, Patrick was between David and the car. Now Patrick was behind him, legs folded underneath his pale body, strong arms wrapped around David’s torso. David was practically in his lap. As bizarre as the situation was it actually felt kind of nice to be secured against Patrick’s sturdy form.

David picked up his head from where it lolled against Patrick’s shoulder and stared at his outstretched legs. They were fine. _He_ was fine.

The dark haired man craned his neck to look at Patrick’s hand. It had be broken at the very least. He clenched his jaw, mentally preparing himself for a gruesome sight. He expected bruised, swollen skin, if not bones puncturing the man’s pale epidermis. David gaped at the hand resting on his sweater covered stomach. It appeared completely fine. _Patrick_ was completely fine.

Patrick must have noticed David staring at his hands, because he quickly removed them from David’s body. Strangely enough, David kind of missed the contact. But he understood, this was a lot for a practical stranger. _A stranger who also seemed very straight._

“I pulled him away. He didn’t actually make contact with the truck,” Patrick explained to Alexis. “When I grabbed him, we both fell from the force of it and he hit his head on the pavement.”

David’s eyebrows furrowed at this. He didn’t hit his head. The man was remarkably uninjured for someone who just narrowly cheated death. Other than the confusion and shock, he was fine.

David followed Alexis’ line of vision to the concave portion of Roland’s bumper.

“That was already there,” The goofy mayor supplied. “Joce and I like to get freaky in the garage. Gets pretty intense sometimes,” he added with a shrug.

Alexis wrinkled her nose and screamed, “Ew!” David’s face was anguished, cursing the mental image that comment gave him.

The tall, dark haired man replayed the events in his head. He thought back to Roland’s truck speeding down Main Street, hitting a slick spot in the road. The car swerved to the sidewalk towards David. Not only was Patrick somehow able to stop the truck, but he was also able to run from the back corner of the store and get to the scene just in time?

_How did any of this make sense?_

David felt like he was having an out of body experience as Patrick and Alexis talked about the accident. His sister and employer prodded him with questions about his neck, spine, and limbs. Pleased with his answers, Patrick helped David up from his half sitting, half laying position on the sidewalk. 

With a cool hand on the small of his back, David was guided to Patrick’s silver Volvo and gently deposited in the sedan’s front seat. Alexis climbed in the back as Patrick hurriedly moved around the front of the car and got into the driver’s seat.

“Wait, where are we going?” David asked in a dazed voice.

“We’re taking you to a doctor,” Patrick stated calmly as he pulled the car onto the street.

David began to argue. He was completely fine thanks to Patrick! He didn’t need to go to see a doctor.

“David, stop being such a _baby, David_. One time, I was at a club and I fell off a tiny platform and thought I was like totally fine. But now, I have like a six month gap where I don’t remember anything,” Alexis stated, hands flying up to play with her hair. “Besides, I already texted Ted and told him we are coming. So hopefully, we can just pop in and then pop back out,” she said, playfully tapping David’s shoulders with her fingers.

David rolled his eyes. “Stop touching me!” He squawked at his sister.

He was too distracted by the fact he would be seeing Ted again to unpack her story. David squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to shudder when he realized this would be the third time Dr. Mullens would be treating him for some minor ailment within a few weeks.

David’s mind wandered back to the scene of the accident. He continued rehashing the events leading up to and after the incident. They didn’t add up or make sense in any way or form. 

“How did you get outside so quickly?” David asked, sounding slightly disoriented.

“David, I was standing right next to you.” Patrick answered. “Do you not remember what happened?” 

As Patrick spoke, the car pulled up to the front of the scaled back hospital. David and Alexis got out of the car while Patrick parked. 

David fully expected Patrick to leave after dropping them at the door, but was delightfully surprised to see him enter the waiting room.

There was no one working the front desk because the woman scheduled to do so was helping her brother. Alexis disappeared behind the desk to get forms for him and Roland, who had shockingly arrived to the clinic before them.

“Sorry, Dave.” Roland said, holding a wadded towel to his head wound. “You should watch where you stand next time,” the mayor added with an obnoxious cackle.

Nobody else laughed.

David sat down in an uncomfortable chair and began filling out his forms. Patrick hovered awkwardly for several moments before taking a seat next in the chair closest to David.

Roland’s laceration was the more pressing issue, so it wasn’t surprising when he was the first to be called back.

David fiddled with the pen in his hands and looked around the room. Alexis was seated at her desk checking the messages on the answering machine. With his sister occupied and Roland out of the room, David felt like he had the perfect opportunity to have a private conversation with Patrick.

“You should probably have your hand looked at while we’re here.” David murmured.

“What?” Patrick asked, forehead creasing as his faint eyebrows rose.

David glanced at Alexis to make sure she wasn’t listening. “I know what you did. I don’t know how it’s possible, but you could have internal injuries or something.”

Patrick had an unreadable expression on his face. “David, I’m not sure what you mean.” Patrick said with faux sincerity.

“You stopped the truck with your hand,” David said, voice raising in pitch. “I don’t know how you did it, but I saw you.”

Patrick opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a nurse calling David back. David followed her to an exam room. She took David’s vitals as he told Patrick’s version of what happened. The dark haired man wasn’t quite sure why, but he felt the need to protect Patrick in that moment.

“The doctor will be with you shortly,” she said, smiling as she exited the room.

David waited impatiently. All of this felt unnecessary because he didn’t _actually_ hit his head.

He sat on the exam table and studied an abstract painting that hung on the wall. The subject of the painting appeared to be a ballet studio. It vaguely reminded of him of where he took dance lessons as a child.

After a few tedious moments, the door swung open. But it wasn’t a doctor.

“Okay, like you didn’t tell me your boss was such a button.” Alexis said as she entered the small room. “David, he’s so worried about you. It’s so sweet, David.” She said, booping his nose.

“Don’t you have a job or something you should be doing?” David asked, rolling his eyes.

“Okay, sorry David. But Patrick mentioned that you seemed really confused about the accident and thought you should probably have someone with you.” She said. “Also, it’s like really boring out there.”

David fought the urge to fight with Alexis. He was completely fine and didn’t even need to be here at all. If anything, Patrick should be the one receiving medical attention right now. 

The pair settled into a tense silence. The only sounds in the room were Alexis’ fingernails tapping on her phone screen and the quiet hum of the clinic’s air filtration system.

This ordeal was taking way longer than he expected. His hopes of, as Alexis had put it, just popping in and then back out had flown out the window ages ago. It was extra frustrating because David knew there was nothing wrong with him.

In the past, David had been extremely dramatic about accidents like the one that happened today. Less than two weeks ago, David sat in this very clinic because he was convinced he was having some sort of cardiac episode. Luckily, or maybe unluckily depending on the mood, it was just anxiety.

But David knew nothing was wrong this time. Sitting here, waiting for a doctor to tell him he was fine was making David antsy. He twisted the ring on his right index finger and looked around the room. It was too small to pace in, but David needed to move.

He asked Alexis for directions to the bathroom and excused himself. David didn’t actually have to use the bathroom, he just had to get out of the tiny room for a minute.

David walked into the hallway and looked towards the left, the opposite direction of the bathroom. He saw Patrick and Ted speaking to each other in hushed tones. 

David couldn’t hear their conversation. But Ted appeared to be listening intently, nodding along to whatever Patrick was saying. Patrick’s back was towards David, so David couldn’t see his expression. However, David did not miss the way Ted’s eyes quickly flickered from Patrick’s face to his left hand.  
Patrick was telling Ted the truth about the accident. _But why?_

“Hey bud!” Ted greeted David from the end of the hallway. “I’ll be right there.”

Patrick must have finished talking because Ted clapped him on the shoulder and started walking down the hallway. David sheepishly turned back to the exam room as Patrick walked back towards the waiting room.

“Sorry for the wait, big guy.” Ted said. “How are you feeling?” He continued, looking over David’s chart.

“Honestly, I feel fine,” David said. “It would’ve been worse if Patrick wasn’t there.”

Ted took his vitals again and asked a series of questions about before the accident. As the doctor placed the stethoscope on David’s chest, David couldn’t help but notice how warm Ted’s hands were. It was almost uncomfortable, but Ted was efficient and quickly eliminated the contact. But David could still feel a ghost of the heat radiating off of Ted’s hands through the fabric of his sweater.

David went into autopilot answering questions about the incident. The main things Ted wanted to know were what happened before the accident, whether he remembered who drove him here, if he remembered the name and occupation of the person driving the truck. 

Something that struck David as odd was Ted never directly asked what happened. _Because Patrick told him._

“Well, my big _car-cern_ is a possible head injury,” Ted said, shining a light into David’s eyes. “ _Eye_ think your pupils look good though, bud.”

David squinted and frowned, partially from the light and partially from Alexis’ giggles and heart eyes at Ted’s bad puns. Not only did David hate puns, but it also seemed highly inappropriate for Ted to be making terrible puns about a patient.

“I didn’t actually hit my head,” David suddenly confessed.

Ted blanched for a second but quickly recovered. Alexis stared with wide, concerned eyes.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened?” Ted asked sincerely.

David really wished Alexis wasn’t in the room for this. She definitely would not believe him. However, Ted _knew_ what really happened. The doctor was putting on an act, and David couldn’t figure out why.

“Mmkay,” David started. “I was meeting Alexis outside of the store to give her my key,” he said, hands gesturing towards Alexis. “I uh was standing there and Roland’s truck swerved onto the sidewalk?” David hated how his last sentence sounded more like a question than a statement.

Ted nodded, signaling that he was listening and David should continue.

“And uh? Patrick came running out,” David said, looking around the room. “Then he grabbed me and threw himself towards the car. I don’t know how he did it, but I think he stopped the truck with his hand.”

Pulling his sweater sleeves over his hands, David avoided eye contact with the other parties in the room. He wanted the floor to open and swallow him, so he didn’t have to continue with this conversation or see the concerned faces staring at him.

Alexis was the first person to break the heavy silence that settled over the trio. “Oh my God, David,” she said intensely, eyes widening.

He expected this response. David was aware he sounded crazy and also _maybe_ like someone who had just had a brain injury.

“Trust me, I know how it sounds,” David said, voice becoming more forceful. “But it’s the truth.”

Alexis opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the doctor. Ted had looked uncomfortable and somewhat conflicted at the turn of this conversation.

“Okay, we’re definitely going to do an MRI,” Ted started, clicking the pen light off and putting it in his jacket pocket.

David was prepared to jump into a debate about not needing an MRI because he didn’t _actually_ hit his head. Before David could start, Ted continued speaking in an even tone.

“I don’t doubt that you believe you saw Patrick stop the truck, big guy.” Ted said. “But you’ve been through a lot, _not just today_ , and sometimes our minds can play tricks on us. How much sleep have you been getting?”

 _Okay,_ that was a fair point. Since moving to Schitt’s Creek, David had only been getting a few hours of sleep per night, if he was lucky. 

There were always strange sounds in the woods surrounding the motel and he had a hard time tuning them out. He was used to city sounds, not whatever creatures roamed the forest at night. That and the fact that he swore someone was standing outside of his room the night before.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t tired. David was exhausted, but he just couldn’t relax or unwind at night. In the past, David would normally just dip into his mother’s pill stash and find something that would take edge off. But he was trying not to do that anymore. While David knew he was exhausted, he wasn’t weakened to the point of hallucinating major life events.

David’s lack of an answer spoke volumes.

“Okay, after the MRI, you’re going to go home and try to rest for a while,” Ted said, turning to Alexis. “Is anyone else at the motel right now?”

“Totally,” Alexis said, nodding and playing with her curly, blonde locks. “Our mom should be there.”

David held in a groan. He didn’t have the capacity to tell their mother about his nightmare of a day and deal with her consequential hysterics.

“Alright, good. Someone should monitor him for at least the next 24 hours and wake him up at least every two hours,” the doctor said, still addressing Alexis. Ted turned back to David. “If you feel any worse, if you feel nauseous or more confusion, give us a call. Try not to use screens like your phone or TV because it could make symptoms worse.”

The mild claustrophobia David felt in the exam room was nothing compared to the tiny opening of the MRI. 

The worst part was he had to put on a hospital gown because his pants had a metal button and his gray sweater had small studs running the length of the sleeves. Because of David’s height, the hospital gown ended in a weird place, mid thigh, and the hem of his boxer briefs was fully on display. Not only was it incorrect, David felt uncomfortable without the security provided to him by items from his carefully curated wardrobe.

David felt really nauseous while laying still in the tube. He was keeping this to himself as he tried not to think about the rounded walls of the machine caving in on him.

Laying as still as possible, David thought about Ted. Why was he so quick to lie for Patrick? _What were they hiding?_

David breathed a heavy sigh of relief when the platform he was laying on started sliding out of the machine. At the radiologist’s okay, he quickly walked back to the small room containing his clothes. David hastily got dressed, but paid special attention to putting his rings back on his fingers.

On his trek back to waiting area, David bumped into Ted in the hallway.

“MR _I’ll_ call you when the results come back,” Ted said with a dopey grin, clearly proud for coming up with that pun.

“Thanks, Ted,” he said, trying to keep the pain out of his voice. 

David continued walking to the waiting room, eager to finally get out of the small hospital. To his shock, Patrick was still sitting in the waiting area.

“Oh,” David said in surprise. “Mm. I figured you would have left by now.”

“Well, _I figured_ you’d need a ride,” Patrick said with a smile, nodding towards Alexis. The woman was sitting at her desk typing on an outdated desktop computer.

“Ready to go?” Patrick asked.

David nodded and glanced back at Alexis. She looked away from her computer and smirked at David before giving one of her signature two eyed winks.

Patrick opened the door and gestured for David to go first. David raised a dark eyebrow at this, but didn’t press the issue.

The pair speed walked, half jogged to Patrick’s car in an attempt to avoid the downpour. The temperature had dropped while they were in the modest hospital. The combination of the frigid temperature, rain, and exhaustion was starting to take a toll on David. By the time they got into the car, David was shivering slightly. 

Patrick silently started the ignition and turned the heat up to the warmest setting. He slowly adjusted the direction of the car vents, so the warm air was pointed towards the dark haired man in the passenger seat. David stuttered a quiet thanks.

Most of the drive was spent in silence. Schitt’s Creek wasn’t a big town, so the silver Volvo was pulling into the motel parking lot in virtually no time. David didn’t even have time to point out which room was his before Patrick pulled the car into the nearest parking spot.

“So, I wanted to say thanks for today?” David said, playing with the ring on his middle finger. “Not just for driving me to and from the hospital, but for everything.”

“Well, I wasn’t just going to stand there and let you get hit by a truck,” Patrick replied bluntly.

David let out an exasperated huff. “I— You and I both know that’s not what _actually_ happened,” he said, voice gaining intensity. “I know you were in the store! I know you stopped the truck, and I know you told Ted the truth!”

“Well, no one’s going to believe you so,” Patrick said sharply. “I think you should probably rest,” he added firmly, unlocking the car doors.

David sighed as he got out of the car and walked to his motel room. He was grateful he never had the chance to give Alexis his key because he definitely would not have remembered to get it back.

He opened the door and was greeted with a quiet stillness. Even though it was ill advised, David hoped no one was home. It was extremely rare to be at the motel alone. As much as the place still freaked him out, David yearned for the days when he had moments to himself.

“Mom? Dad?” David called experimentally.

The anguished sob that came from the closet of his parents’ motel room shattered his hopes of a quiet nap. David closed his eyes and sighed. He ran a hand over his face as he walked towards his parents’ closet.

“Mom?” He said, gently lowering himself to sit on the floor. David had spent years perfecting the art of coaxing his mother out of confined spaces. He was considered an expert at this point.

In their old life, it made sense for her go to hiding spot to be her closet. The walk-in closets in the Rose’s mansion were spacious and large, practically the size of the motel rooms they were staying in now.

But here in the motel, the closets were miniscule. They were so small that the majority of David’s clothes were kept in an entirely other room.

With practiced expertise, David was able to get his mom to exit the closet and go to bed. She showed no concern as to why David was home in the middle of the day instead of at work. He was slightly grateful because he didn’t have the energy to tell her what happened. But at the same time, he sometimes wished he had a mother who noticed things like him not being where he was supposed to be.

She laid down on the queen sized bed. David pulled the comforter over her and turned off the lights, so she could sleep off whatever concoction of pills she took.

He roamed back to his room and decided to bathe. David took a lengthy shower, scrubbing the hospital off of his body and hair. Mid afternoon was a weird time to do his skincare regime, so he saved that for later.

David put on his softest pair of black joggers and a white t-shirt with the word “DON’T” printed across the chest. He closed the curtains and tried to make the room as dark as possible. Finally, he laid down on his shitty mattress and attempted to get cozy.

David tossed and turned for several minutes trying to get comfortable. He eventually laid on his back and grimaced at the water stained ceiling. He tried to force himself to think about anything other than today. His mind drifted to how much he hated Schitt’s Creek.

It was in quiet moments like this that he missed Adelina, the nanny who took care of him for most of his childhood. Even though it had been almost two decades since he had last seen her, he still missed her sometimes. She would always comfort him and rub his back after he had a nightmare. He sometimes wished he had someone to comfort him from the nightmare that was living in Schitt’s Creek.

Still unable to relax, David closed his eyes and started practicing the soothing breathing exercises Ted taught him when he had a panic attack. David counted to four while he inhaled, held his breath for four counts, and exhaled for four counts. Cycling through this breathing exercise, David started to drift, inching towards sleep.

David’s eyes snapped open. There was no one here that would make sure he would wake up. It didn’t seem like a huge problem, but what if there actually was something wrong with him? David felt fine, but what if adrenaline was preventing him from feeling the effects of a possible concussion?

He groped around the surface of the small nightstand trying to locate his phone. He grabbed the device, squinting at the bright screen and set a timer for an hour and a half.

Setting the phone down, David closed his eyes. Unable to get as comfortable as he was before he set the timer, David rolled onto his left side. Still uncomfortable, he pulled the sheets closer to his body and rolled onto his right side. David tried not to think about how much he missed the luxury bedding of his old life.

He laid silently for about 20 minutes. Only slightly more than an hour left on his timer. What if it went off as soon as he fell asleep? If he slipped into a coma, would it really be the worst thing? David sighed and reached for his phone to cancel the timer.

Soon, he gave up on sleep. David’s new strategy was to try to rest quietly, not putting pressure on himself to fall asleep. He listened to the sound of the raindrops on the roof and breathed deeply.

After what felt like a lifetime, David finally nodded off. His slumber, however, was brief.

“It’s like a witch’s house in here, David!” Alexis exclaimed as she walked through the door connecting the two motel rooms. She flung the curtains open and David groaned dramatically.

All of Alexis’ concern from earlier today seemed to have evaporated. She sat on the foot of David’s bed and started loudly chattering about how Twyla, the strange waitress at the cafe, invited her to a yoga class.

“That might be a good thing for me,” David murmured.

“Okay well, I’m not gonna go though,” Alexis said, eyes narrowing.

He sighed. “That might help me relax. Might help me calm down,”

“David, I just said I’m not gonna go,” she groaned.

If he played his cards right, he would at least gain something from Alexis rudely interrupting his nap. “I don’t want to have to bring this up, but it’s my turn to take a selfish.” David said, volume growing.

“No, David,” Alexis argued. “You selfished last time.”

“No,” he challenged. “Dubai, 2010. I had to pick you up from that blind date that went terribly wrong. It was a total disaster. It’s my turn and I want to go to a yoga class.”

She looked around the room and nodded slightly, agreeing that it was, in fact, _his_ turn to take a selfish. “Fine. I will go, but I am not happy about this at all.”

“Okay, get off my bed,” he said, lightly kicking her.

“Ouch, David,” Alexis cried. “Ouch, David.”

To David’s absolute horror, the yoga class was a couple’s class. _Of fucking course it was._

To make things worse, the class was in a _barn._

He desperately wanted to leave, but Jocelyn Schitt was grabbing his hands a pulling him towards her mat. David opened his mouth to decline her invitation, but was distracted by Jocelyn’s freakishly warm hands. _Like Ted’s._ David exchanged a look with Alexis, who looked like she was trying not to laugh.

“Normally, I do this with Roland but he had a bad burrito, so he’s MIA,” she explained as they approached her mat.

“Oh,” David said unsure of how to respond. Roland seemed like he was on a roll today. 

“Trust me, that’s good news for everybody,” Jocelyn reassured him.

“I’m sure it is,” he replied earnestly.

David came to this class hoping to relax and not think about the accident and the improbable events he witnessed. Instead, he was immediately reminded of it.

They had a few moments before the class started was scheduled to start. Jocelyn used that time to gently ask how he was feeling. He assured her he felt fine and was ready to put the whole thing behind him.

Twyla partnered Alexis with a dark bearded man David could only describe as rugged. 

The instructor slowly walked around the room as more people trickled in. David could feel the short hairs on the back of his neck stand on end when Twyla approached. He could feel her eyeing him. As David glanced up from his seated position on the edge of Jocelyn’s mat, he felt a wave of calm wash over him.

“Ted told me about your nervous breakdown the other day,” Jocelyn whispered at the start of the class.

David frowned and looked around to see if anyone heard her. He was relieved when no one else in the class seemed to be paying any mind to their conversation. “My what?” David questioned, eyebrows inching towards each other.

David wasn’t exactly a lawyer or an expert in doctor-patient confidentiality, but this seemed like a huge HIPAA violation. His shoulders tensed as he started to get worked up over the fact that his doctor was telling random townspeople about his personal business.

Jocelyn read the expression on David’s face and quickly assured him that Ted didn’t mention David by name.

Another rush of tranquility swirled within David. He felt kind of weird, but also good. His shoulders dropped as he relaxed. For the first time in a while, he felt moderately secure.

Jocelyn’s warmth and bubbly personality made her easy to talk to. Her mom energy also fractionally reminded him of Adelina. This combined with how relaxed David was suddenly feeling had him telling her about his trouble adjusting to Schitt’s Creek.

“It’s just all these feelings of displacement, you know?” David said, folded at the waist in a downward facing dog position. He could feel her nod from where she was pressing on his lower back. “Like I— I think I’m just having a very hard time adjusting to the overall aesthetic of the town? Um, and it’s just running through my head and I can’t sleep.”

“Lots of talking,” Jocelyn noted, gently patting his lower back. No one else seemed to care that they were talking through the class and David was grateful. “Lots of emoting. That’s good, David. Um, have you tried sex?”

David was uncomfortable. Adelina would have never asked that and it was shocking to hear this stand in suggest it. “Excuse me?” David asked, grimacing at Jocelyn’s bare feet.

“Sex puts me right to sleep,” she started. “You should have lots and lots of sex.”

This was the second time David was presented with information regarding Jocelyn and Roland’s sex life today. As far as he was concerned, it was two too many.

David took this as his cue to stop talking about his feelings. However, Jocelyn continued rubbing his back in a soothing manner. “Is everyone doing this?” He blurted out. Jocelyn made an affirmative noise and continued with the soothing motions. But David didn’t have the heart to look around to confirm his suspicions she was lying.

He felt like he should be embarrassed by having a near stranger rub his back soothingly in a public setting. A stranger whose husband almost killed David today. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. This was probably the most relaxed he had been in a long time, and David was leaning into it.

As per Twyla’s instructions, they changed positions. Jocelyn was in a modified child’s pose on the mat. David was laying on his back along the length of her spine. His hands and feet were planted firmly on the floor, supporting his body weight.

“And on a big inhale, identify any tension you may be holding,” Twyla said, walking around the room. “And on a big exhale, breeeathe it out.”

Jocelyn exhaled theatrically. “I burnt my sausage casserole,” she said.

“I’m pretty sure I’m really lonely here,” David confessed.

Despite the strange position, David still felt at ease. Seconds later, he was snoring.

After a late dinner at the cafe, Alexis and David headed back to the motel. The rain was taking a brief respite and the siblings walked at a leisurely pace.

The moderately edible food and serene yoga class were having a positive effect on David. He felt almost… good. His shoulders were relaxed and where they should be, instead of creeping up towards his ears. While it was mortifying to fall asleep in the middle of class, David felt much more relaxed. He hoped this was a precursor to a good night’s sleep.

On their way home, David received the call with his dreaded MRI results. Ted’s voice was hesitant and cagey as shared the diagnosis of a mild concussion. The doctor said to avoid driving and strenuous activities for the time being. Ted also highlighted the importance of rest and drinking fluids. David didn’t believe a word of this diagnosis, but he agreed and promised to call the doctor if he felt any worse.

David’s good mood vanished as soon as he crossed the threshold into his parents’ motel room.

“My bébé!” His mother sobbed, catapulting herself at him. Ugh. She knew. He stiffened in her hold.

“Son, I ran into Gwen and she told me what happened today,” Johnny explained. “Are you okay?”

Apparently news travels fast in a small town. “Who’s Gwen?” David asked.

After assuring his parents he was alright, David begrudgingly told them about his mild concussion and that he needed to rest. For the most part, they left him alone to rest.

David washed his face and languidly worked through his nine step skincare routine. At a lazy pace, David made his way to the twin bed closest to the door and tried to make himself comfortable.

David awoke from a nondescript nightmare with a jolt. He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed in a vain attempt to block out the howling he heard from the woods. The dark haired man took several deep breaths as he tried not to think what would happen if the creatures somehow broke into the motel. If that somehow happened, David, tucked into his bed by the door, would be the first one to die.

Trying to distract himself, David thought about Jocelyn. More so, her advice. Maybe he should have sex with someone. 

Prior to Schitt’s Creek, David’s love life was a mess. He had given up on the idea of lasting love and long term commitments ages ago. Instead he settled into a variety of short term flings, each more dramatic than the last.

_Who could he have sex with?_

The obvious answer was Jake. David had his number and the woodworker was obviously into him, but the problem was the Stevie of it all.

David hadn’t known Stevie very long, but he considered her his only friend in Schitt’s Creek. He didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that, and it seemed like Stevie and Jake spent a lot of time together. While Stevie had yet to say if she and Jake were sexually or romantically entangled, David didn’t miss the hopeful lilt in her voice whenever she spoke about the woodworker. She also talked about Jake a lot.

Stevie was also an option. He had tried the friends with benefits thing in the past, and it had never worked out. It always got messy, but maybe this time could be different.

His mind drifted to Patrick. No. It would never work. Patrick was definitely straight. The man’s strong reaction to David and Jake’s flirting also lead David to believe there was a slight possibility that Patrick was homophobic.

However, his actions that afternoon had David questioning that theory. The man practically cradled David on the sidewalk. Out in the open for anyone to see! David reminded himself that people often acted differently in times of crisis.

The little things Patrick did while David wasn’t in immediate danger had David questioning his intentions. Patrick didn’t need to plant his hand firmly on David’s back as they walked to the car. He didn’t need to be so concerned when David was obviously fine.

There was also the fact that Patrick waited for David to be done at the clinic in case he needed a ride. It was only a fifteen minute walk to the motel from the clinic. One David could have easily done despite the rain and chilly temperature. His clothes would have paid the price, but David could have walked home.

In the car, Patrick had also charitably pointed the vents towards David. David was shivering in that moment, but Patrick was probably cold too.

_What did it all mean?_

Nothing. They worked together. Maybe sometime in the future they would have something close to friendship. But that’s it. There never could be anything else between them because _Patrick was straight._ The sooner David accepted this the better.

Seeing the sun start stream through the curtains, David gave up on sleep. Maybe tonight he would get that solid night’s sleep he deeply craved.

Patrick had given David a few days off to recoup from the accident. That or he just didn’t want to deal with David’s incessant needling about the truth.

Regardless, David didn’t know what to do with his time. It was too early to go bother Stevie at the front desk. Not knowing what else to do, David huddled under the covers, put his headphones in, and watched a few episodes of Downton Abbey on his phone. He knew he was supposed be avoiding screens, but he also knew he didn’t actually hit his head.

After Alexis had left for work, he emerged from his cocoon and grabbed his journal. David began journaling about the past few days. Before long, he got distracted and started lazily doodling roses and stars in the margins. 

It had been a while since he had done a proper sketch or any larger art pieces. The idea to use his time in Schitt’s Creek as some sort of makeshift art retreat popped into his head. David’s forehead crinkled as he continued drawing misshapen swirls on the page. What would he even draw? Everything here was so uninspiring. His mind drifted to golden eyes and blue button downs. He snapped the book shut, banishing that thought from his head.

David wandered to the bathroom and did his morning routine before finding his mother and herding her to the cafe for brunch. His father was meeting with a potential buyer for the town.

The day passed without any significant events. David was grateful after what he experienced the previous day.

Shortly before 10:00 pm, there was a knock on David’s door. His immediate response was mild panic. What if it was the person who lurking outside of his room in the middle of the night? David looked through the peephole and breathed a sigh of relief.

He opened the door. “What do _you_ want?” David greeted sarcastically.

Stevie smirked as she reached into the chest pocket of her flannel shirt. “I found this in room three while changing the sheets,” she said, holding up a tightly rolled joint. “Want to share?”

David quickly pulled on his black Ugg boots and a black hoodie before stepping out of the motel room. The two quickly made their way to the Love Room because it was empty.

“Oh shit, I forgot my lighter.” Stevie said. “Do you have one?”

With a shake of his head, they made a pit stop in the office. David shuffled behind Stevie after she unlocked and opened the door. He stood near the front desk while she set off in search of a lighter. 

David scanned the room when something caught his eye. Sitting near the pamphlets advertising local hiking trails was a bright yellow flyer. He picked up the flyer and read it:

 **MISSING  
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PERSON?**  
**Name:** Antonio Russo  
**AGE:** 34  
**HEIGHT:** 6’ 3”  
**LAST SEEN:** Elm Valley Hiking Trail  
**IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION,  
PLEASE CONTACT ELM VALLEY POLICE DEPARTMENT**

David furrowed his eyebrows as he studied the black and white photo of the man. The man looked vaguely familiar.

“He kind of looks like you,” Stevie nodded towards the flyer, finally returning with the missing lighter.

Hm. He probably wouldn’t have come to that conclusion on his own. But now that it was mentioned, David did see the resemblance. David was still concentrating on the flyer. “What do they think happened to him?”

“I don’t know,” Stevie said with a shrug. “It happens around here sometimes. People go hiking and get lost or whatever and never make it back.” Stevie walked over to the door and gestured for him to follow.

David watched Stevie lock the office doors and followed her to the Love Room. 

“Did he get bit by a radioactive spider _too?_ ” She said sarcastically.

David playfully hit her with a pillow. “Shut up.” He said. The man knew he would probably regret telling her about yesterday’s incident, but he felt the need to tell someone about it. The weed made him feel lighter and for some unknown reason, he trusted her.

She chuckled lightly and passed the joint back to David. 

They were sitting on the heart shaped bed, leaning against the red headboard. Stevie’s legs were folded in front of her, while David’s were outstretched.

There were a lot of aspects of the motel David found incorrect, but this room took the grand prize. The room reeked of tackiness and desperation. David shuddered as he tried not to think about all the events that probably have taken place on this bed. He looked at the mirror on the ceiling and watched himself take a deep hit, coughing slightly. It had been a while.

They continued passing the joint back and forth, swapping stories and laughter. When there was nothing left to smoke, David settled under the covers, feeling sleepy. 

Stevie remained in her seated position on the bed, flicking through the channels on the TV. In David’s eyes, it was a pointless effort. The motel only had the most basic cable package and it was too late for anything good to be on. 

She paused her channel flipping. The two silently watched five minutes of a show where paranormal investigators tried to prove the existence of extraterrestrials. Stevie sighed and turned off the TV, joining David under the covers. The woman laid on her side, facing the center of the bed.

David turned so he was facing Stevie. “Do you believe in aliens, Stevie?” He asked, sounding shockingly wistful for the subject matter.

“No,” she said, looking at him curiously. Her face was illuminated by the small lamp on the nightstand next to her side of the bed. She bit her lip and glanced around. It looked like she had more to say. “Do you?” Stevie asked in disbelief.

He didn’t know what he was expecting her to say, but it wasn’t that. “Normally, no,” David said, rolling onto his back. “But now, I think I work for one,” he added with a laugh.

Stevie bit her bottom lip and peered at David with unreadable expression, before turning off the lamp and settling on the pillows.


	5. A Very Dangerous Maneuver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends! Thank you all so much for reading this! All of the kind comments on this warm my heart. I wanted to get this up sooner, but I started a new job and it's been....... a lot.
> 
> it's Disclaimer Time: please pay attention to the tags on this because I am updating them as I go 🖤  
> there's a minor character death in this chapter. it happens off screen. characters drink alcohol in this part.
> 
> And well, there's homophobia in this chapter. it's mostly language and threats. nothing too graphic. there's no usage of the f-slur. everyone please proceed with caution. I did put a row of asterisks right before this scene in case anyone wants to read this, but skip that part. I completely understand and if you have seen Twilight you can probably figure out what happens if you skip that scene.

David woke up alone, but feeling refreshed. He slept relatively well that night.

At one point during the night, David awoke, feeling damp. He panicked, fearful he had somehow wet the bed. Once he was awake enough to get his bearings, David realized it was just sweat. He was mildly relieved, but still slightly mortified to be sweating profusely in the presence of another person.

Stevie, curled up against his chest, felt like a space heater. His sleep addled brain thought of Ted for some reason. Her dark hair covered her face, but she still seemed unconscious. David threw the tacky crushed velvet bedding off of them. Stevie mumbled something unintelligible, still mostly asleep.

“Stay on that side,” David whispered, gently pushing her closer to the edge of the bed. “You’re too warm.” He took off his sweatshirt, thankful he was wearing a t-shirt underneath, and tossed it to the foot of the bed. The man rolled to his side, inched further from Stevie, and fell back asleep.

Besides that one interruption, David slept soundly. It was by far the best sleep he had gotten since moving to Schitt’s Creek. The combination of the weed and Stevie’s presence had helped him relax.

David glanced at the clock and saw it was just after ten. He pulled his sweatshirt and Uggs on and headed to his room to take a shower.

After a relaxing shower, David toweled his hair until it was slightly damp, planning to let it air dry. He got dressed and leisurely worked his way through his morning skincare.

David startled when he exited the bathroom, surprised to see Alexis sitting on her bed, tapping away on her phone.

“Um, what are you doing here?” David asked.

“Rude, David.” Alexis snapped, momentarily looking away from her phone. “Dad wanted to talk to us about something, so I took an early lunch break.” 

The man’s forehead creased at this. What could their dad possibly have to talk to them about now? They both found jobs. Was that not enough?

David wandered into his parent’s room, curious about whatever his father wanted to talk to them about. Alexis stood, straightened her floral patchwork dress, and followed.

Upon entering the room, David was greeted with the sight of his father sitting at the small table and looking at their shared laptop. There were several printed out sheets of paper scattered on the table. David eyed the sheets of paper and tried not to think of the neon yellow flyer from the motel office. “What are these sad print outs?” David asked.

“They’re for a proposal I plan on making to the family,” Johnny said, not looking up from the computer.

Losing interest, David wandered to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

“And what kind of proposal is this, Mr. Rose?” Moira asked as she emerged from the bathroom.

“Are the police auctioning off crime scene vehicles?” Alexis asked, picking up a sheet of paper.

Johnny shared the topic of his proposal and confessed his desire for the family to invest in a used car. The meeting with the potential buyer didn’t go well, and he figured if they were stuck here, they should invest in a car. Moira, Alexis, and David poured over the cars on the printouts with disgust. All of the cars were incorrect.

Moira was the first to point out her disdain for the pictured vehicles as Alexis nodded along. David chimed in: “Yeah, I would rather drive a scooter,” David said. “And we all know how I feel about scooters, those stupid helmets.”

Johnny assured the family that the cars on the sheets of paper were just examples and not actual cars he was considering. Mr. Rose stood up and gathered the papers, as they were doing nothing but distract the family.

Moira was quick to take his seat. “Does this site have boats?” She asked, peering at the laptop screen. The gray haired man shut the laptop and grabbed a printed out spreadsheet.

David’s eyebrows furrowed. “What is that? A spreadsheet?” He asked.

“Yes. Yes, it is and if you just let me finish the pitch the way I planned it, things will be a lot more clear,” Johnny said.

“Okay well,” Alexis interrupted. “I’m going to need the car on Friday nights.”

“Absolutely not.” Moira stated from her seat.

David turned to his sister, forehead crinkling. “Does that mean I would get it on Saturday?” He asked.

“We don’t even have the car yet,” Johnny reminded, losing patience. 

David exchanged a look with Alexis as their father prattled on about his dream of owning a car. The idea of having a car was intriguing to David, but even the used vehicles on the printouts seemed out of reach. 

Their measly car budget was primarily funded by Alexis. She had only been working for a few weeks, but her income was steady. David pitched in some of his small earnings from Schitt’s Creek General Store. It wasn’t much. He had only worked there a few days, and his hours were cut short due to almost becoming a victim of vehicular manslaughter. But at least it was something.

Moira and Johnny set off for the used car lot. The couple planned to make a quick stop at Roland’s to borrow clothes, so they would appear more down to earth.

Alexis headed back to work, lunch break long over, and David was once again alone and unsure how to spend his time.

He roamed to the motel office, hoping Stevie wasn’t busy and would keep him company. Eyes squinted, David took in the disarray of the lobby. There was a collection of cardboard storage boxes, some appeared dustier than others, and no Stevie in sight.

Hearing footsteps, David looked towards the stairs. Stevie was dressed in all black and carrying a file. He quirked an eyebrow at her. She wasn’t necessarily known for her style, but she didn’t usually wear black monochromatic outfits. That was more David’s thing.

“Did someone die or are we going through like a midlife goth phase?” David asked jokingly, using his hands to gesture towards his own clothes.

“Someone died,” she said bluntly as she walked behind the desk. “My great aunt died.”

Unsure of whether she was joking or not, David leaned on the front desk, opening his mouth to speak. His words, however, got caught in his throat when he spied a plastic bag of something that could only be ashes.

“I’m sorry,” he said sympathetically.

“Why? You didn’t kill her.” She said with a shrug. “I actually kind of liked her. Apparently, she liked me too because she left the motel to me. I didn’t even know she owned it.”

Stevie babbled on about how her Aunt Maureen lived a very lonely life and died the same way. David listened patiently as his friend confessed her fears of dying alone, just like her aunt.

“Stevie,” David started. “Just because you both worked here doesn’t mean you’ll die alone like her.”

“I think it does.” Steve said. “Now, I’m stuck sorting through all of this and I have to go scatter her ashes, alone, in some parking lot in Port Angeles later,” she said, gesturing wildly to the boxes cluttering the lobby.

David glanced around the lobby. “Well, if you need help…” He asked softly, staring at her expectantly.

She gaped at him, shocked at his offer. “I’d like you to finish that sentence.” Stevie stated, leaning towards David.

“Oh,” he said softly. “Um. I am happy to help you in this time of need. I can go with you later too.”

“Thank you.” She said. “As much as I appreciate your reluctant offer. I don’t think you can handle it. This whole thing is super depressing.”

“Okay. I think we’ll be fine, so I am happy to help.” David said, gently tapping his hands on the desk for emphasis. He rolled his shoulders back. “That is what um friends say to each other, right?”

Stevie smiled and gave a small nod and the duo set out to sort through the boxes. None of the containers were labeled and the contents weren’t organized in any specific way. They created a system. Motel related and tax documents went in a file box behind the front desk. Clothing went into a large trash bag so it could be donated. Stevie decided whether personal items would be kept or disposed of.

David opened a box and pulled out a framed photo of a recognizable woman with brown hair. “Oh my god. When did you have this photo taken?” He asked, smiling and holding out the frame so Stevie could see.

The woman frowned. “That’s not me,” she insisted. “That’s Maureen.”

He cringed at the photo. Still looking at the picture, the man grimaced. “Mm. Okay well, just because you bare a vague physical resemblance does not mean that you will end up in an apartment with newspaper for curtains.” The dark haired man said, trying to sound reassuring. “Okay? This is not going to be you,” he added, gesturing towards the cardboard boxes. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon sorting through Maureen’s few material possessions. After Stevie’s shift at the motel was over, the pair climbed into Stevie’s red sedan and drove east towards Port Angeles. This was the first time David had left Schitt’s Creek since the family arrived. It felt weird.

The drive to the desired parking lot took less than an hour and half. It was perfect ash spreading weather. There was virtually no wind. The sun was shining, but it wasn’t too hot.

David got out of the car and took in the graffiti and dilapidated buildings nearby. He didn’t see the appeal of this particular parking lot. The man frowned as he looked around. He had never given much thought to how he would die, but one thing he knew was he would never want his remains to be scattered here.

“Um. Yeah, you’re right.” David said. “This is a bit depressing. Are we sure this is the right place?”

“She was very specific about where she wanted to be scattered.” The woman reassured.

“Um. So, what are— how— where should we do—“ He asked, pointing towards the freezer sized storage bag of ashes in Stevie’s hands.

“Well, I don’t want people parking on her!” Stevie said, interrupting him fiercely.

“Okay,” he said.

Stevie looked around as David did. “So, maybe I can just put her on the grass over there?” She suggested.

“Sure.” David said, eyes wide and head nodding.

Stevie opened the bag as the pair walked over to the grassy area.

“Ooh, it smells like cigarettes,” he noted. “Um. Do we scatter it all or do we save some for later?”

“Later?” She asked, sounding alarmed and raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know!” He exclaimed, waving his hands wildly. David looked around frantically as Stevie sighed. It looked like she was close to tears.

“This is gonna be me,” she said softly.

“Well, theoretically, it’s gonna be all of us.” David started before continuing. “Um. Although, I’m hoping that when I pass there’ll be a little more fanfare,” the man stated, continuing to wave his hands. He looked around as if avoiding eye contact with Stevie would make the seriousness of the topic go away.

“My great aunt worked at the motel. Front desk. So I just need to take up palm reading, get a few cats, move to Saskatchewan.”

“Well, a girl could dream,” David said, closing his eyes. He took a deep breath. “You are not your aunt. From what I’ve heard, I wouldn’t be friends with her and I’m friends with you. So, that’s one major difference. She made her decisions and you’re going to make yours. They’re going to be different and they’re going to be great. And if they’re not, I’ll be sure to scatter your ashes in a much nicer parking lot.”

She looked at David and smiled sadly. It almost felt like she knew something he didn’t. “I think I’m just going to starting pouring, okay?” Stevie said, leaning down to dump the contents of the bag into the grass.

Once the ashes were scattered, the duo got back in Stevie’s car. Trying to make the most of their time in Port Angeles, they drove to a local dive bar. Stevie and David sat at the bar and each ordered a whiskey.

“To Maureen Budd and not following in her too closely in her footsteps,” David said, raising his glass towards Stevie.

“So, we’re drinking to me not becoming an alcoholic?” Stevie questioned.

When put that way, the logic collapsed on itself. “Mhm.” David hummed, eyes rolling.

She clinked her glass against David’s. “Off to a good start.” She said as they both tossed back their drinks.

David had to admit it. Today was pretty depressing, but he was quietly grateful for the distraction. He knew it was fucked up to be appreciative for the opportunity to scatter his friend’s aunt’s ashes, but the task prevented him from thinking about Patrick or the incident.

Two drinks later and David noticed a man across the bar eyeing Stevie. The man was stocky and had dark hair and a matching beard. He was handsome. David glanced at the man and flashed Stevie a small, half smile. “Um. Don’t be obvious, but that guy over there is staring at you,” David said conspiratorially, leaning forward and doing a tiny shimmy. David subtlety gestured to the man by rolling his eyes in his direction.

What did Stevie do? She acted obvious. Stevie fully turned around, made direct eye contact with the man, and then swiftly turned back around. She looked at David with wide eyes.

“Okay, well that definitely wasn’t obvious,” David said sarcastically. Using his peripheral vision, David continued to watch the man out of the corner of his eye. “Um. He’s walking over here.” He said under his breath.

Stevie looked down, reached into her flannel shirt, and readjusted her boobs. “Am I good?” She asked, glancing over her shoulder. David raised an eyebrow but gave her a small nod of approval.

“Hi, I’m Emir. Can I buy you a drink?” The man said after he approached Stevie. Emir’s eyes traveled towards David with a silent question.

“Yes, you should buy her a drink,” David said, shooting Stevie a smirk before getting up and walking away.

It had obviously been a rough day for Stevie and David wanted something good to happen for her. He took a lap around the bar before settling at an empty hightop table near the corner. From his perch, he could see Stevie and Emir but was out of their eye line. It was the perfect spot to watch the exchange without feeling like a total creep.

Their exchange appeared to be going well. Stevie was smiling despite the heaviness of the circumstances that brought them to this bar. David continued drinking through his voyeuristic act. 

In his tipsy state, he wondered what Patrick was doing right now. He contemplated texting him, but didn’t know if it would be weird or not. They hadn’t really talked since the incident, but even before that they only really talked about work things.

David looked up as he saw Stevie approaching his table. The tall man greeted his friend with a small smile tucked into the corner of his mouth.

“How’s it going?” He asked, raising his dark eyebrows expectantly.

“Well, he invited me to his place,” Stevie said flatly. David beamed in response. “Is it okay if I go? I can come back for you… or just give you my keys if you want to go back to the motel?”

His eyebrows inched together at her suggestion. He was inebriated and in no condition to drive right now, not to mention his license was expired. There was no way he could afford a lawyer if he was caught driving under the influence or without a license. 

But also, David didn’t feel comfortable leaving Stevie with a stranger 56 miles from home and no transportation.

“Um and how would you get home?” David asked, quirking an eyebrow.

For a brief second, Stevie looked like a deer caught in headlights. Her eyes widened briefly, but she quickly recovered. “I don’t know? Call a cab?” She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Ultimately, they came to an agreement. The night was still relatively young and the bar would be open for at least several more hours. Stevie would go to Emir’s apartment for an hour or two and return to the bar. In Stevie’s eyes, the plan was perfect. She had the opportunity to go to Emir’s place, but she had the perfect excuse not to spend the whole night there.

It was fine. He would be fine.

“Make Maureen proud,” he said with a wink, instantly regretting the statement. Bringing up Stevie’s dead aunt as she was leaving a bar to have sex with a stranger was definitely a weird move. David cringed as Stevie frowned in response.

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************8*******************

As the next hour or so unfolded, David continued drinking alone. He watched as the bar patrons shifted to a sketchier crowd.

He wasn’t super concerned at first. Stevie’s few hour timeline was set to expire and they would most likely head back to Schitt’s Creek together soon enough. He just had to stick it out a little while longer. It would be fine.

David watched as a group of four rough looking men came in. One of the men, dressed in a deep red flannel and tattered baseball cap, leered at David before turning to his friends and laughing about something. David stared blankly in response, eyebrow twitching.

“What are you looking at, pretty boy?” The man shouted across the bar with a dark look in his eyes. His friend’s cackled in response.

David deeply regretted wearing skirted pants today. While living in Schitt’s Creek still made him profoundly uncomfortable, he didn’t have to worry about how he expressed his sexuality or gender identity. Some of his funkier clothing choices got him strange looks at the cafe, specifically his tight leather pants, but it was more so because the clothing items lacked practicality. No one in Schitt’s Creek seemed to care if he wore a skirt or something not traditionally viewed as masculine.

Part of the reason the snide comment was so jarring was because it had been a while. Unfortunately, David was no stranger to homophobia. But other than the weird instance where Patrick was mad because he was flirting with another man, David hadn’t experienced anything uncomfortable regarding his sexuality recently.

He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Stevie asking for an updated timeline. David sincerely felt bad about potentially ruining her hookup, but he was also starting to feel concerned for his own safety.

It would be fine. He was in a public place. It would be fine. Stevie would be here soon. In an pathetic attempt to not catastrophize, David repeated false reassurances like a mantra. 

“When did they start letting fucking fairies into this place?” One of men spat to his friends as they edged closer to David’s perch.

Okay. Yeah. He had to leave now. It probably wouldn’t end well if he stayed.

In his haste to leave, David ducked out of the first exit he saw. Unfortunately, this exit brought him to a dark alleyway, completely out of sight from anyone passing by. He took a deep breath in through his nose and released it through his mouth. He would get to safety and he would call a cab or something. 

After taking a moment to ground himself, David looked around and was able to identify the direction of the street. He briskly headed in that direction and froze when two figures emerged at the mouth of the alleyway. Instantly, David recognized the two figures from the bar.

“Fuck.” He muttered under his breath. Quickly, he turned around and speed walked away from the two men. David desperately tried to go through the door he had just emerged from. It was locked from the outside. He gripped the handle like a vice trying to will the damned thing to open.

“Hey, where you running to?” The man in the tattered baseball cap said mockingly.

The men were getting closer. He had to keep moving. David hopelessly pounded on the door with his fist in the off chance someone inside would hear and come to his aid. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he sprang off of the door and continued further into the alley, away from the shady figures.

He had no idea what to expect on the other end of the passageway. A large part of David hoped it would open to a street with people and businesses. The types of people who would try to stop a hate crime in its tracks. A nagging voice in the back of David’s head knew that this probably wouldn’t be the case.

What David didn’t expect was to run out of the alley and straight into the grasp of the other two men from the bar. He glanced around looking for an escape. It was a poorly lit lot behind the bar. The only resources were dumpsters; no cars or other people in sight. This was it.

“Don’t touch me.” David said weakly as the man grabbed his bicep. The degenerate raised his fist, ready to take a swing.

David wasn’t a fighter. He wasn’t exactly small, but he was clumsy and there was no way he could fight off four scumbags at once. Maybe if he didn’t even try to fight back it would be over quicker? He closed his eyes, waiting for the first blow.

Instead, David heard the the engine of a speeding car followed by the screeching of brakes. David’s eyes flew open and were greeted with bright headlights. He squinted, trying to get better visibility of the car.

A familiar silver Volvo was barreling through the lot. The Volvo skidded to a stop and spun out slightly a few inches away from David and the men. The four men jumped away from David in surprise.

“That was a very dangerous maneuver,” one of the men slurred.

The door flew open and a pale figure emerged from the driver seat. “Get in the car, David.” The driver said through gritted teeth. Patrick glared and snarled at the men, causing them to back off.

David stared in shock, trying to make sense of things once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also just want to take a moment and say how grateful I am that there was no homophobia in Schitt's Creek. Part of the reason I love the show so much is because I think it's the first time I've seen a queer couple on TV that didn't deal with some sort of discrimination or have their relationship be more challenging simply because they were queer. Even other mostly lighthearted sitcoms will portray these like queer tragedy storylines, so it was incredible to see a show (especially one set in a small town!!!) just completely avoid that. As someone who struggled with their sexuality for a really long time, it was really great idk.


	6. My Pain Fits in the Palm of Your Freezing Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! here's the next chapter! thank you for all of the love and support! full disclosure: i feel like i really leaned into The Twilight Silliness with this installment lol.
> 
> the chapter title comes from the song "ivy" by Taylor Swift 🖤
> 
> content warnings cw tw: a character has a panic attack in this chapter, there's references to the attack that happened in the previous chapter but nothing too extreme regarding that, minor character death, references to blood and the standard twilight type stuff

“What the _fuck?_ Are you _stalking me?!_ ” David nearly screamed, voice shrill.

Patrick’s attention was briefly pulled away from the attackers. He turned his head towards David. “Get in the car, David,” he repeated. His tone left no room for argument. David glanced back at the four men before obediently getting into the sterling Volvo.

Patrick remained outside of the car, engaged in some sort of silent standoff with the four men. David didn’t notice Patrick return to the vehicle until it was accelerating towards the men. The taller man stared blankly as the assailants quickly ran to the same alley they just chased David through.

The car rapidly spun around and was speeding towards the main road. Patrick seemed to have no qualms about oncoming traffic as he made a quick left, traveling away from the bar. Other cars honked and slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting the silver sedan. It was moving way too fast and Patrick was angrily muttering under his breath, hands gripping agonizingly tight around the steering wheel.

Meanwhile, David felt like he was crashing. The adrenaline from the almost attack was wearing thin. His alcohol induced buzz had vanished and was replaced with crippling anxiety. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his hands together, trying to fight off the nausea and terror from both the incident and Patrick’s erratic driving.

Desperately trying to hold it together, he didn’t want to have a total meltdown in front of Patrick. The man had already seen David in far too many vulnerable situations and they didn’t need to add panic spiral to that list.

David couldn’t quite focus on the content of Patrick’s angry musings. But every once in a while he could pick out a phrase like “rip those guys’ heads off” or “vile, disgusting thoughts” over the sounds of car horns. He was trying to tune it out and focus on his breathing like Ted told him to do.

“Distract me so I won’t turn around!” Patrick suddenly shouted, voice dripping with malice.

Patrick’s sudden yelling was the final nail in the coffin for David. He jumped and his chest ached as he fought to breathe. Heart racing, David began to hyperventilate. He pulled his feet onto the carseat and dropped his head between his knees. David’s hands found their way to the hair on the back of his head, pulling as he struggled to breathe. 

“Oh,” Patrick said, sounding dumbfounded. His voice softened as he pulled the car to the side of the road, slowing to a stop. “David, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. No one’s going to hurt you here.” The only response Patrick received was labored breathing punctuated with an agonized sob. “Um, David. Is it okay if I touch you?” He asked, pale hand ghosting the back of David’s neck.

David gave an almost imperceptible nod before he felt Patrick’s cool hand rubbing soothingly at the back of his neck. The contact was grounding and he felt fractionally better. He felt Patrick’s other hand reach out and gently untangle David’s from his hair.

“We’re going to breathe together, okay?” Patrick said, rubbing his thumb tenderly over the back of David’s hand. He placed David’s hand over his blue button down covered chest. Patrick took an exaggerated deep breath and then exhaled in a similar fashion. David could feel Patrick’s chest gradually expanding and contracting. “In and out. Can you try to match me?” Patrick said softly as he took another deep breath.

David was trying, but it was hard. He huffed out a ragged breath. It was nowhere near a deep breath, but it was a slight improvement.

“That’s good, David,” Patrick said patiently, taking another deep breath. “You’re doing so well.”

It took several more minutes and several more deep breaths and reassurances from Patrick, but eventually David’s breathing slowed. Patrick continued rubbing slow, soothing circles on the back of David’s neck. Once his breathing returned to normal, David didn’t move his head from its hiding spot between his knees. He didn’t have the energy to face Patrick.

“Sorry,” David said sheepishly. His voice was muffled by his hiding spot. Sighing deeply, David removed his hand from Patrick’s chest and dropped his feet to the floor of the sedan. He rubbed his hands over his face and gently wiped at his eyes. The taller man wished he could somehow evaporate and remove himself from this uncomfortable situation.

“Don’t apologize, David. You have nothing to be sorry for,” Patrick murmured.

For the first time, David turned to look at Patrick. David had the sudden urge to kiss him, but even if tonight’s events showed that Patrick wasn’t homophobic, he was still straight. So David settled on a hug instead. He tightly wrapped his arms arms around Patrick’s pale frame, chin resting on the shorter man’s shoulder.

At first Patrick stiffened and seemingly held his breath, but eventually he relaxed into the embrace. His arms snaked around David’s torso and his hands gently rested on his sweater covered back.

“Thank you,” David mumbled into Patrick’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for quite some time, wrapped in each other’s arms while sitting on the side of the road. Patrick’s hands moved to rub gentle circles on David’s upper back. 

It wasn’t exactly comfortable, the car’s center console was digging into David’s ribcage, but David wasn’t ready to let go. He felt safe. David shivered slightly at this realization.

“Are you cold, honey?” Patrick whispered tenderly. David nodded into Patrick’s shoulder, but pulled back slightly at the use of the pet name. Patrick had never called him anything besides his name before. What did it mean?

Their faces were inches away from each other. David raised a dark eyebrow in a silent question. Patrick avoided David’s eyes and instead focused on the man’s lips. The moment was heated. Now was David’s chance. He closed his eyes and leaned in. 

Before his lips met Patrick’s there was an icy hand gently pushing at David’s shoulder. “Um, I think I have a jacket somewhere.” Patrick said, turning to look at the backseat.

Heat flooded David’s face. He completely misread the moment! Patrick was just trying to be nice, and David had to immediately fuck things up. “I’m sorry,” David said, staring at the car’s windshield and wishing he had a time machine. 

He took a deep breath; there was no way he was going to let himself get worked up over this. Having a full blown meltdown in front of Patrick was already a lot, but having a second one after getting really clingy and trying to kiss the man would be excessive.

“It’s okay,” Patrick said, reaching back to rummage around in his backseat. “Found it.” Patrick said, handing a forest green bundle of fabric to David.

“Thanks,” David said. Not knowing what to do, he pulled on the jacket. It was marginally snug in the shoulders, but it fit fine otherwise. He played with a loose thread on the hem of one of the sleeves as Patrick silently put the car in drive and pulled onto the road.

It suddenly dawned on David that he never got an explanation of why Patrick was in Port Angeles, let alone the exact same bar. Was Patrick stalking him? “How did you know where I was?” David asked, breaking the heavy silence.

“Are you hungry?” Patrick asked in response.

“Patrick.” David deadpanned. If he was going to get answers, he was going to have to appear as composed as possible. As if following a cue, David’s stomach growled loudly in response. It had actually been a long time since he had eaten last. He sighed at his body’s betrayal.

“Okay, why don’t we get you fed and then I’ll take you back to the motel?” Patrick said, avoiding the topic. David narrowed his eyes and stared at Patrick. The pale man was looking at David instead of the road. “I- uh I’ll explain,” he said, eventually breaking the eye contact.

They drove a few more miles before Patrick pulled into the parking lot of a 24 hour diner on the side of the highway. David felt an insistent buzzing in his pocket and reached for his phone. 

“Shit,” he mumbled when he saw the name on his screen. In all of the chaos, he had completely forgotten about Stevie and ditched her in some unknown town! She could very well be in some sort of danger. Clearly, there were some unsavory characters in Port Angeles and he had just left her there! He took a medium sized breath and cleared his throat before answering the call. 

“Hey, I’m back at the bar. Where are you?” Stevie asked.

How would he begin to explain this one? “I uh- I left,” David said, glancing at Patrick, who was eyeing him curiously. 

“You left?” Stevie echoed in surprise.

David decided he didn’t have the energy to tell her what really happened. At the same time, he also didn’t want her to feel bad about leaving him at the bar. “Actually, I ran into Patrick and we left and now we’re at a diner,” David said. “So… how did it go?”

“So Patrick, huh?” She said through the phone. He could practically hear the smirk in her voice and rolled his eyes. “It was fine, but I’ll tell you about it later. I’ll you get back to _Patrick_ ,” she said with a mischievous chuckle. 

The diner was nearly empty and they were immediately seated in a booth near a big window. A waitress with dark hair pulled into a victory roll immediately swarmed their table. 

The waitress peered at David briefly before turning her full attention towards Patrick. David didn’t miss the way she ogled Patrick. She pulled a pen and small notepad out of her apron. “What can I get you, sweetheart?” She asked, addressing Patrick and only Patrick. The waitress looked at Patrick like he was the only other person in the room. She fluttered her long eyelashes and brought attention to her full lips by resting the end of her pen on her bottom lip. 

“Uh, you go first.” Patrick said, fiddling with a menu and gesturing towards David.

The waitress eyed David with disdain and haughtiness. David chewed the inside of his bottom lip and battled the urge to openly roll his eyes. He felt extremely uncomfortable. This woman was clearly very into Patrick and viewed David as some sort of threat. Little did she know, not only were they not together, but there was also no chance of them ever working out because Patrick was straight.

Even though David was hungry, he didn’t necessarily feel like eating. To appease Patrick, he ordered ginger ale and scrambled eggs with a side of toast. Patrick ordered a glass of water. 

The waitress seemed disappointed at Patrick’s lack of a food order and less than chatty demeanor. She sighed and disappeared to put David’s food order in.

“Um, you have to give me some answers,” David said the moment they were alone.

“Okay,” Patrick said. The pale man took a deep breath and David leaned towards where Patrick was seated on the other side of the table. He was eager to finally have some answers. “Yes. No. To get to the other side. 1.7725—“ Patrick said as a smile stretched across his face. 

David wasn’t amused. With an eyeroll, David stood up and began walking away from their table. He was clearly bluffing, they were miles away from Schitt’s Creek and he had no mode of transportation, but he hoped the message was still understood. David also didn’t feel safe enough to be alone right now, but he needed Patrick to know he seriously needed an explanation.

“Wait, stop,” Patrick said. “Don’t go.”

The tan man turned around and walked back towards their table. He glowered at Patrick as he slid back into the bright teal vinyl booth across from the paler man. “Did you follow me?” David asked firmly.

Patrick exhaled and looked out of the window, eyes fixating on the flickering neon sign outside of the diner. David followed Patrick’s gaze and also stared at the sign. “Did you follow me?” David asked again, still studying the bright pink, glowing sign.

Patrick opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the waitress bringing their drinks. She put the ginger ale in front of David and put the glass of water in front of Patrick. “Are you sure there isn’t _anything else_ I can get you?” She asked, leaning towards Patrick and putting a hand on his shoulder.

David actually rolled his eyes this time.

Patrick’s eyes widened and he looked like he wanted to squirm out of her grasp. “Uh, no.” He said sheepishly. “No thanks, Amber.” He added, eyeing the name tag pinned to her black dress.

“Okay well, let me know if you need anything,” she said with a wink. Amber turned and grimaced at David before walking away from their table. David furrowed his eyebrows and fixed her with a judgmental stare as she walked away.

“Well, that was—“ Patrick started.

“Patrick.” David interrupted firmly. He couldn’t let Amber’s flirty antics distract from his mission. David was leaving this diner with answers, goddammit. “Did you follow me?” He repeated, much firmer this time.

Patrick sighed and avoided David’s eyes, which were boring into him intensely. He glanced out the window quickly and then looked at his glass of water like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Playing with the condensation on the outside of the glass, Patrick took a deep breath. “I feel very… protective of you.” He said finally.

“So you followed me.” David stated, desperately trying to keep the discomfort out of his voice. He pulled the sleeves of the Patrick’s green jacket over his hands and played with his rings.

Patrick exhaled and met David’s forceful gaze. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, David. But disaster seems to follow you,” Patrick said.

David’s eyes traveled upward and did a slight roll, before meeting Patrick’s golden eyes. “It’s just a long string of very bad luck,” David explained, hands flying through the air for emphasis. “And I don’t know what kind of carnage I inflicted in a past life to deserve it. I must’ve been Dracula… or a spin instructor.” At the end of his statement, David’s hands rested on the edge of the table.

Patricks eyes went comically wide at that statement. He stared at David silently for a moment. “What made you think of Dracula just now?” Patrick demanded defensively.

David peered at Patrick curiously before responding with a half-hearted shrug. “I uh— I don’t know,” David mumbled, eyebrows furrowing.

The shorter man sighed deeply and his expression softened. “Look David, you know you didn’t deserve what just happened, right?” Patrick asked softly. 

David was uncharacteristically quiet and looked down at the table. He was pulled from his thoughts when Tina Turner’s “The Best” started playing on the diner’s outdated speaker system. The corner of his mouth lifted into a tiny smile. Despite the day he had, David couldn’t help but smile slightly at the song.

“I’ve known some absolute monsters and you, David Rose, are not one of them. You deserve _the best_ ,” Patrick said, reaching across the table towards David.

David inched his hand closer to Patrick’s. It felt like a risky move, especially considering Patrick had just rejected David’s kiss in the car. But with Tina’s vocals backing him up, David was feeling brave. His hand continued traveling in its path until his fingertips met Patrick’s.

Following this cue, Patrick moved his hand so it was resting on top of David’s. Gently, he tucked his thumb under David’s palm and squeezed softly.

“Fuck, your hands are freezing!” David exclaimed.

Despite the physical contact and reassurances, David was still pretty uncomfortable with the fact that Patrick had followed him. It was also troubling that the man had followed him for more than 50 miles outside of town.

“I’ll explain more in a second,” Patrick explained, eyes darting somewhere behind David.

Just then, Amber arrived with a plate of scrambled eggs and a smaller plate with two slices of wheat toast resting on top. She glared daggers at Patrick and David’s intertwined hands and made herself scarce. If looks could kill.

David pulled out a fork and started absentmindedly picking at his eggs. Under normal circumstances, he would feel weird eating while Patrick sat and watched, but he was pretty hungry after all.

Patrick looked around and observed the others in the diner. He leaned closer to David and dropped his voice to a whisper. “I was trying to keep a distance unless you needed my help. I thought you would be fine with Stevie,” Patrick started.

The dark haired man’s eyebrows knitted together at this. Sure, there was strength in numbers and maybe those guys wouldn’t have attacked David if he hadn’t been alone. But if they had still decided to attack, what was Stevie going to be able to do to stop them?

“But then, I heard what those lowlifes were thinking,” Patrick said, even quieter.

David’s eyes narrowed at this and his brows remained furrowed. “You heard what they were thinking?” He echoed in disbelief. “So, you read minds?” David asked, trying (and failing!) to keep the hysteria out of his voice.

The paler man sighed deeply and punctuated it with a small chuckle. “I can read every mind in this room except yours.” Patrick said. 

Unsure of what to say, David stared blankly.

“Money,” Patrick said, nodding to a man sitting in a faraway booth with a woman. “Drugs,” he said, nodding to the woman also inhabiting that booth. “Sex,” he said, looking at a man seated alone at a table near the front door. “Money,” he said, gesturing towards a waitress speaking empathically with Amber. His eyes skidded towards their waitress. “Sex,” he stated, nodding towards her.

His eyes found their way back towards David’s. “And then you, nothing.” He stated. “It’s very frustrating.”

“Is there something wrong with me?!” David asked in a panicked tone.

Patrick let out a hearty laugh at this. “David, I tell you I read minds and you think there’s something wrong with you?” He chucked, shaking his head in disbelief.

David continued eating and sipping his ginger ale while letting the information sink in. He had no idea how to respond to any of this. When he finished his drink, Patrick gently pushed his untouched glass of water towards David. Whispering a quick “thanks,” David picked up the glass and took a large gulp. 

“I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore,” Patrick murmured, breaking the silence.

“Then don’t.” David said simply.

After David had finished his food, Amber returned with the bill. Patrick immediately snatched it off the table. The pale man pulled out his wallet and got out enough cash to cover the bill and leave a generous tip.

“I forgot to give you this,” Amber said as she returned to their table. In her hands was a small slip of receipt paper. She handed it to Patrick, who unfolded the slip of paper and grimaced. “Call me sometime, cutie,” she said with a wink.

Grumbling under his breath, Patrick added more money to the pile and placed the paper with Amber’s name, phone number, and a few hearts scrawled in purple ink on top.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked David, standing up from his seat. David nodded and followed Patrick to the parking lot.

“So, you aren’t going to call her?” David asked.

Patrick stopped in his tracks and stared at David incredulously. “No, of course not,” he stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. They both got into the car and started the trek back to Schitt’s Creek.

David still had more questions than answers, but he was relieved to know at least something about Patrick. If he could gather enough breadcrumbs on the man’s mystique, then maybe he could piece a theory together.

They spent the rest of the drive in a comfortable silence. Only to be interrupted by Patrick asking if David was warm enough every few miles.

It was late now. The roads were empty and Patrick seemed to believe traffic laws were merely suggestions.

David was fighting sleep the entire ride. It had been a long day and he was actually looking forward to curling up on his shitty mattress. He blinked blearily at the horrendous town sign and noticed the addition of sign saying “DON’T WORRY, IT’S HIS SISTER!”

Watching Patrick out of the corner of his eye, David saw the man tense as they got closer towards the motel. His faint eyebrows furrowed as he slowed the car to the suggested speed limit.

It was a solid 30 seconds before David saw the cause of the tension. Blue and red lights flashed from police cruisers with “Elm Valley Police Department” printed on the sides. The vehicles were planted on the road in front of the motel while officers littered the street and the mouth of the woods.

“Mm. What happened?” David whispered, squinting to try to see better.

“They found a body in the woods behind the motel,” Patrick whispered, almost unintelligible.

“Oh my God!” David cried, arms flailing. His eyes drifted to a familiar brown Chevy truck. He would recognize the car that almost crushed him anywhere.

“Roland wants to talk to us,” Patrick said. “He can’t know what I told you earlier.”

David nodded in reassurance and sure enough, they saw the mayor approaching Patrick’s car. Patrick slowed to a stop, but didn’t put the car in park. He opened the window just as Roland reached the car.

David noticed Patrick flinch the slightest bit and appear to hold his breath as Roland leaned on the car.

“Hey Pat and Dave,” Roland said, nodding towards David. “They think they found that missing hiker.” The mayor looked towards the flurry of activity happening along the tree line.

“All the way out here?” David chirped. “I thought he went missing in Elm Valley!”

Elm Valley was the second closest of the Greater Elms, but it was still at least a 40 minute drive. If the man was last seen on a hiking trail miles away, something must have gone terribly wrong if his corpse ended up in Schitt’s Creek.

“They think it was some sort of animal attack.” Roland continued. He and Patrick exchanged a significant look. Always one for subtlety, the mayor winked at Patrick. “But they’re not sure yet.”

David would have believed the animal attack theory. Oftentimes, he heard them roaming behind the motel at night. But the geography didn’t line up. In addition to that, Roland had winked after he shared the theory.

“Mm so, they think an animal killed him and then brought him all of this way?” David asked in disbelief.

“You’re not in Los Angeles anymore, Dave.” The mayor guffawed. “But seriously, Dave, stay out of the woods.” He patted the roof of Patrick’s car, signifying the conversation was over.

Patrick rolled up the window and pulled into the parking lot. A loud howl broke out from the woods and a shiver ran up David’s spine. There was no way he was staying at the motel tonight.

He felt kind of bad leaving his family, especially Alexis, to the metaphorical wolves, but he had to look out for himself.

“Um. Can I stay with you tonight?” David asked, voice sounding timid. He stared at the rusty orange eyesore parked closest to the Roses’ rooms. Why did Roland feel the need to bring _both_ of his trucks to a late night investigation?

David knew he was being clingy and too much. But Patrick had already seen him in so many incorrect scenarios, David wasn’t sure he cared anymore.

“David, I don’t think that’s the best idea.” Patrick said softly. 

“Not like that!” David backtracked. “I just meant— Okay. I’ve heard _them!_ The animals, I mean. There are some sort of large creatures in the woods. And because my bed is closest to the door, I’ll get murdered first!” David said, bordering hysteria.

“David, I don’t think the animals can open the door,” Patrick said, trying to lighten the mood with a joke.

David sighed in frustration. “It’s— I just— It’s late. My family is probably asleep and I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

Patrick seemed to be considering this as he eyed David. He huffed out a breath. “You need to sleep and I don’t have a bed.” He stated flatly.

Dark brows furrowed together at this. Why didn’t Patrick have a bed? “Stay at the motel with me.” David said.

Patrick looked at David like he was insane. “And your family?”

“Won’t notice.” David said confidently. “They’re all pretty heavy sleepers, so you could probably just walk in and leave before they woke up.”

Patrick seemed to take a moment to consider this. “Okay,” he started. “Why don’t you get ready for bed and I’ll go home and get changed. Then I’ll come back.”

“Yes,” David agreed before he got out of the car.

His suspicions were correct; his entire family was sleeping. This plan would only work if they stayed asleep, so he moved as stealthily as possible. Using his phone as a flashlight, David located some pajamas and and headed into the bathroom.

He took a quick shower, letting the hot water run over his tired body. As much as he cared about the state of his skin, David was too tired to do his entire skincare routine. He settled with just washing his face with a mild cleanser and moisturizing.

David pulled on his favorite black joggers and a soft sweater. He approached the bed and stared at it for a second. Worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, he wondered how two grown men would fit on a twin sized bed. Maybe they could make it work if they both laid on their sizes. But even so, they would have to be touching. He glared at the bed as if staring at it would somehow make it bigger.

David was pulled from his thoughts by a quiet knock on the door. His face fell as he looked at the door. What had he gotten himself into?

Still trying to be as quiet as possible, David made his way to the door and looked through the peephole. He let out a relieved gust of air when he saw it was Patrick and not some murdery animal thing.

He quickly unlocked the door and slowly pulled it open. Both men cringed as the door made a loud creaking sound. David swiftly turned to look at Alexis’, thankfully, still sleeping form. The taller man quietly gestured for Patrick to enter the motel room. Patrick quietly entered the room and toed off his shoes as David shut and locked the door.

“So, uh what did you have in mind?” Patrick asked, eyes skirting around the room in faux nonchalance. It was clear Patrick was trying to avoid looking at the small bed.

“Mm, so okay,” David started. “I didn’t think about how small the bed actually was when I invited you and now you’re here…” He said, volume increasing and hands nervously toying with his rings.

Patrick gestured for David to quiet down before pointedly looking at Alexis. “I could just… lay on the floor?” Patrick suggested.

“No,” David gasped. He grimaced. The carpet was covered with mysterious stains that probably were the cause of decades of neglect. He spent most of his time in the room wearing shoes because he was afraid to let the carpet touch his socks or bare skin. “I uh I think maybe we can both fit?” David said, avoiding Patrick’s eyes.

“I think we could make that work, if you’re comfortable with that,” Patrick said.

“Okay, um,” David said as he walked over to the left side of small bed. Strategically, he chose that side so Patrick would be closer to the door. He pulled back the comforter and flat sheet as Patrick edged to the other side of the bed.

Hesitantly, Patrick climbed onto the bed and laid on his side, facing away from the door. Following his lead, David also climbed into bed. He curled up on his side and also faced away from the door. David heard the rustling of sheets before he felt the flat sheet and comforter get tucked around him.

In all honesty, David felt antsy. He wanted to try laying on his other side or his back to see if those seemed like better options. But also Patrick was laying really close and he didn’t want to disturb the delicate balance between them.

He was trying his hardest not to let his mind think about the day’s events and the investigation happening a few yards from his door.

If he was more comfortable on his other side, facing Patrick would be a risk worth taking. He sighed as he rolled over. _Nope!_ Still uncomfortable. He huffed out a sigh as he rolled back to his original position.

“David, would it help if I rubbed your back?” 

David froze. It probably would help, but he wasn’t sure if it would be weird or not if he let Patrick rub his back.

“Maybe,” David said softly and full of uncertainty.

“Here, um, why don’t we—“ Patrick whispered as he snaked his arm under David’s side. He encouraged David to roll to his other side as Patrick repositioned so he was laying on his back. “Is this okay?” Patrick asked as he began rubbing soothing circles David’s back with the arm underneath the man’s torso.

“Mhm,” David hummed from where he was resting his head on Patrick’s chest. He tried not to think of how Patrick’s cheap, polyblend hoodie was most likely going to cause some sort of rash or premature aging.

The only sounds in the room were their breathing, David’s hammering heartbeat, and an occasional snore from Alexis. 

“David, it’s okay,” Patrick whispered, reaching his other arm up to play with David’s hair. “You’re safe. You can relax now.”

Between Patrick’s ministrations and presence, David did feel somewhat safe. He snuggled closer to Patrick’s chest and took a large inhale. David was soothed by Patrick’s scent. The chestnut haired man smelled like eucalyptus and spearmint and it was doing wonders for David’s nerves. He started to drift as his eyes fluttered closed.

In the distance, they heard a loud howl. David jumped, eyes flying wide open and looking at Patrick fearfully.

“It’s okay,” Patrick soothed. “We’re okay.”

“You said you don’t have a bed.” David stated.

“Yeah, I don’t really sleep,” Patrick said.

“Mm. I get it,” David said sleepily. “I haven’t been able to sleep much since we moved here.”

With his head resting on Patrick’s chest, David realized something. Even with his proximity, David couldn’t feel Patrick’s heartbeat. Oddly enough, he couldn’t remember feeling it in the car either, despite having his hand on Patrick’s chest. David sleepily moved his hand to rest over Patrick’s heart. 

Patrick immediately intercepted David’s movement, grabbing his hand and kissing the back of it. “Go to sleep,” Patrick murmured into David’s hair. “It’s bedtime.” He situated David’s arm so it was pulled across his waist, hand resting on Patrick’s side.

With that, David drifted off.

_He was in the woods. Running, but with no escape._

_David looked all around, but all he could find were trees._

_He heard the snappy growls of unseen monsters, getting closer every second. He didn’t know where he was, but he just knew he had to get away from where he was._

_David continued running until his body collided with a solid pale form. Relieved to run into another person, David gasped as he noted Patrick’s green jacket and short, chestnut hair._

_Only this Patrick was not human. He had soulless, dark eyes and blood dripping from his hands._

_“Patrick?” David asked._

_He looked behind Patrick and saw the mangled corpse of the missing man from the neon yellow poster. Next to him was the misconfigured bodies of the men from the alley._

_David tried to scream, but no sound came out._

David woke up alone, with a start. He was exhausted and confused. His sleep was not at all restful and was plagued by frightening dreams. The events from the night before wreaked havoc on his subconscious. He felt physically and emotionally drained. 

The TV was powered on and playing softly. David rolled over to see Alexis, dressed in workout clothes, sitting on her bed and flicking through channels. She stopped on something and watched for a few seconds.

David squinted at the screen. He saw fire in a room full of mirrors. “What are you watching?” He asked.

“I don’t know, David,” she said, emphasizing the syllables in his name. Alexis turned the TV off and rose from her bed. “I’m gonna go for a run,” she said, looking at her phone and putting her earbuds in.

He stared at the water stained ceiling as his mind drifted to the previous night’s events. Once again, Patrick had gotten there just in time. Trying not to shudder, David remembered the dead hiker in the woods. 

Sighing, David thought about how comforting Patrick had been amongst the chaotic events. The man even slept in David’s cramped bed, so he wouldn’t be afraid of the creatures roaming outside of the motel.

His mind flitted to Patrick’s confession in the diner. The fact that the man could apparently read minds, didn’t actually reveal much. David was still haunted with questions. The biggest one was a simple _how?_

The revelation, however, did give David another clue. He took inventory of the peculiar things he noticed about Patrick. David came to the conclusion that the best way to keep track would be to write it down in his journal. He grabbed the book and a pen and started writing.

**1\. Extremely strong  
2\. Fast  
3\. Mind reading?!  
4\. Cold to the touch  
5\. No heartbeat?  
6.Color changing eyes **

David rested the end of the pen on his chin as he continued thinking. Now that he was thinking about it, he had never actually seen Patrick eat or drink anything besides that time he stole a sip of David’s juice.

**7\. Doesn’t eat???**

He continued analyzing his other interactions with Patrick. The man had casually mentioned the fact that he didn’t own a bed the night before. That could have been an excuse to deter David from trying to sleep over, but it was so specific. What kind of person lies about not owning a bed?

**8\. Doesn’t own a bed?**

Visually, Patrick was very pale. Anyone with the ability of sight would notice that, but something David realized was he had never seen the man outside on a sunny day. Clear weather was somewhat rare in Schitt’s Creek, but it was still odd. Especially when paired with the general store’s tinted windows.

**9\. Pale  
10\. Doesn’t go out in sunlight?**

There was also the fact that the man sometimes seemed to hold his breath or pretend to breathe, especially near David.

**11\. Fake breathes.**

He thought back to their interaction at the diner. David raised an eyebrow as he realized something. Patrick seemed inappropriately alarmed when David made a casual reference towards Dracula. The man even questioned David about why he dared to mention the fictitious vampire.

**12\. Hates Dracula?**

David’s face dropped as he peered over the list.

Patrick didn’t go in the sun because the light would kill him. David had never seen Patrick eat because he didn’t eat regular food. Patrick didn’t own a bed because he probably slept in a coffin or something. The man sometimes held his breath around David because he wanted David’s blood.

Patrick hated David’s Dracula reference because Patrick was a member of the same species as Dracula.

His employer was a fucking vampire.

_No._

He was getting carried away. There was no way this was true. There had to be some sort of logical explanation.

But still, David grabbed his cell phone and opened his internet browser. Hands shaking, he tapped the search bar. He felt ridiculous as he typed a theory into Google. This was real life, not some YA book series about a supernatural love triangle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, a chapter of this fic where our guys are together nearly the entire time??? unheard of!!!!
> 
> also one of the funniest things about twilight to me is how the characters will just straight up google stuff to get answers regarding supernatural things lmao


End file.
